More Accurate Neighborhood Watch Signs

Daniel Mallory Ortberg on September 10, 2013 in Ancient Grains , Artwork , Cartoons 10 Comments

Concept and text by Daniel Mallory Ortberg. Images by Matt Lubchansky, who makes comics and occasionally leaves his apartment in New York. His work includes Please Listen to Me and New Amsterdam Mystery Company . He’s on Twitter , and doesn’t expect you to get his name right.

About Author

by Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.

Latest Comments

Robert of Belleme

#3 I always used to think was a comet. IF YOU DO CRIMES HERE, A COMET WILL STRIKE YOU

noodge4lyfe

!!!
I always thought the neighborhood watch sign showing the guy crawling through the window was actually a picture of a guy in traction with his ski goggles still on from an unfortunate injury on the slopes!

(this is your brain on childhood…)

DelectableDetriment

Mallory

have you inherited the spirit of Lovecraft (without the racism)?

Have you gone to Lovecrafts grave and spilled blood and wine upon the ground and asked for his weirdness to enter your mind? Have you repeated this ritual at less wellknown graves? Have you sacrificed a dozen years of your life for this?

It's OK, you can tell us.
karenb

has someone been listening to too much Night Vale? (all hail the glow cloud)

lily

Aw come on now, the night vale style of delivery is just typical tumblr one-liner/weird twitter/old somethingawful stuff, those guys aren't the only ones who do it. I know you're not accusing her of ripping off WTNV directly, but still.

lyetteann

My god, are you saying Night Vale DIDN'T invent surreal humor? Surely you jest.

(Much like Sherlock invented the detective story genre.)

lily

Har har har but that's the third time today that I saw a comment saying "R U NIGHT VALE LOL" and it's kind of like if every time a new rap song made it to the top 40 charts, reviews claimed it was directly inspired by the innovative work of Macklemore, the father of rap

lyetteann

I like to think all of those comments are made by these dudes:

<img src=" http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120304032502/muppet/images/7/7a/TheMuppets-(2011)-Finale-BobbyBenson&Babies.jpg"&gt ;

Haley_Crain

I love "if you touch each other you will fuse" a lot. What is the real life meaning of that sign?
Betsy Murgatroyd

First thing I thought of is that 80s episode of Twilight Zone called Shadow Man. Scared the everloving poop out of me when I was younger. Still scary when I think of it.