On Monday, Elizabeth Wurtzel and Jonathan Franzen became best friends forever, and people didn’t know where to put their arms during sex.

Tuesday was mostly about latkes. Also, Sam Shepard learned to check his not-knowing-about-steampunk privilege and Mallory helped libertarians deal with the government shutdown:

Sisyphus metaphors are great, but don’t forget about the wealth of Greek myths you have available to you. Try switching it up! Tantalus is another good one, but he’s often underutilized. And you’ve got to be able to work in an analogy about Prometheus. Maybe Boehner is the bird that keeps eating his liver, and the liver is Congress, and fire is privatized health care? I don’t know. Keep working; you’ll come up with something.

On Wednesday, Kendra Wells taught us how to get a bikini body, because YOLO. Then Mikki Kendall wrote a love letter to the hood.

Thursday, we met a hug dealer and worked on not exercising.

And, on Friday, Mary J. Breen told us about some frivolous ladies.