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Ancient Grains Archive
Lies I Will Tell My Children
Ancient Grains, Artwork
Oct 15, 2013
My Female Students Don’t Seem As Impressed With Me As They Used To
Ancient Grains, Humor
Oct 15, 2013
INT. DAY. A bucolic college campus; a book-strewn corner office. Two MALE PROFESSORS, HANK and SMITTY, have their feet up on their respective desks at the end of a long day. Their faces are haggard and drawn. Even their elbow patches look tired. HANK sighs.
SMITTY: "You look tired, Hank."
HANK: "I feel tired,
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Official Toast Stances: Volume One
Ancient Grains, Business
Oct 15, 2013
If you do not like the things we approve of, we suggest you revisit your stance. You are still allowed to like and/or engage in the things we dis-approve of, you are just wrong. - Eds.
The Toast Approves of the Following Things:
1. Taran Wanderer.
2. Taran Killam.
3.
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Bird of the Month: Goldfinch
Ancient Grains, Animals
Oct 14, 2013
If there's one thing I like more than I like birds, it's The Secret History. Imagine my excitement when it was announced in February that Donna Tartt's new novel would be named after one of my favorite kinds of finch. So in honor of
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Coworker Less Friendly In Person Than Her Gchats Would Have You Believe
Ancient Grains, Work
Oct 14, 2013
Previously: The Office is Not Too Cold.
June 4th
Your first day of work. She does not make eye contact with you once while she leads you through the fourth-floor layout ("Here's the copy room. That's the copier. Let me know if you need help using the copier. Okay, let's head to the
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Female Scientists: Fill Us With Your Expensive Education
Ancient Grains, Meta
Oct 14, 2013
You may or may not have noticed that The Toast's official Twitter account (accept no imitations!) featured a brief call for female scientists last week. After it was RT'd eleventy billion (we're not scientists) times, and we got a ton of emails from, like, dudes who
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Hot Tips For Your First Novel
Advice, Ancient Grains, Books
Oct 14, 2013
It’s all happening. You’ve finally decided. Enough waiting around, today is the day you start your bestseller. And yet the path to success is not smooth: it’s a well-documented fact that the beginning is one of the most difficult parts of writing a novel, second only to the conclusion and general plot-heavy middle
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Facts About Thanksgiving
Ancient Grains, History
Oct 14, 2013
1. Today is a day to say "Happy Thanksgiving" to Canadians.
2. Do not call it "Canadian Thanksgiving."
3. I cannot stress that strongly enough.
4. Canada has never engaged in any bad colonialism-related behavior of any kind, all Canadians have always lived in the castle, so there is no need whatsoever to feel emotionally
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