Ancient Grains Archive
Next Joke
Ancient Grains, Writing
Oct 03, 2013
“Didn’t end well.”
Punch line. Laughing. I got 'em, no question. I’m off the stage now and left on a high note. It’s not always this good, though. I’m addicted to the people, to the laughs, the spotlight, the stage. I dunno, it’s a natural high. Keeps me off the other shit, I
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The Badger-Eater of Cornwall
Ancient Grains, Animals
Oct 03, 2013
I am perfectly aware that in more rural parts of the world, eating roadkill is not terribly uncommon, and I have no quarrel with this practice. And yet: this man Arthur Boyt clearly has a basement full of skulls. From Der Spiegel:
Proper preparation is especially important because ...Read More
The Hug Dealer
Ancient Grains, Writing
Oct 03, 2013
Noemie walked briskly along the sidewalk. The rain had stopped an hour ago, but the street was still wet. The empty storefronts and fallen garbage cans echoed the click-clack-scrap of her heels striking against the concrete, and the thwick-thwok of her boots picking up the dew that stuck to warm streets on
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The Most Hetero Guy in the World
Ancient Grains, Writing
Oct 03, 2013
Jonathan Anthony Williamston Dunwith-Cable III was probably the most hetero guy you could ever hope to meet. Biddies? He’s bagged 'em all. Cash? He’s never strapped. Jonathan A.W. Dunwith-Cable III knows he’s disarmingly attractive and often spends a good fifteen minutes each evening shooting finger guns in the mirror and repeating words
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Every Time Robinson Crusoe Passes Out In Robinson Crusoe
Ancient Grains, Books
Oct 03, 2013
It seemed to me that as I cast my mind over the Victorian- and Regency-era adventure novels of my youth, the delicate male protagonists spent almost as much time drifting into unconsciousness as they did naming new species or describing what remained of their provisions. We may never know why men used
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Link Roundup!
Ancient Grains, The Internet
Oct 03, 2013
Okay, let's talk about Ronan Farrow being Frank Sinatra's son, and about how Dylan Farrow is now talking openly about what she remembers of Woody Allen, because we're all having such a good time with the first part, and the second part is a PRETTY BIG
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Your Endorsement On LinkedIn Means Nothing To Me
Ancient Grains, Business
Oct 02, 2013
Let us be frank: your LinkedIn endorsement means nothing to me, you disgusting and withered old sot. I neither solicited nor encouraged your endorsement in any way, and the idea that you think I require your stamp of approval in order to succeed in my chosen field is laughable. I find you
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Some Thoughts On YOLO
Ancient Grains, Writing
Oct 02, 2013
If it’s true that you only live once, why waste even a second of your time saying, YOLO?
* For those who believe in reincarnation—the Hindus, the Buddhists, etc.—YOLO is, at best, a delusion, at worst, a blasphemous lie. Because of this, believers in reincarnation often say “No YOLO” after making ...Read More