Straight man, don't bother me
Straight man, don't bother me
Straight man, don't bother me
You don't interest anybody

***

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Men are but a dream

Previous misandrist lullabies can be found here and here. This particular dose of misandry has been brought to you by Toast reader Alexandra Mitchell. She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes She'll be coming 'round the mountain, she'll be coming 'round the mountain, She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes Mountains are an oppressive and phallocentric creation of the…

Part One here. The itsy-bitsy spider Climbed up the water spout Down came the rain And washed the spider out Out came the sun And dried up all the rain And the itsy-bitsy spider Climbed up the spout again There he was culled by his larger and more genetically fit female mate She harvested his nutrients to feed herself and she was right to do it.

***

Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques, Dormez-vous?…

When I'm worried and cannot sleep I count all the male peers I've already outstripped professionally and laugh a full-throated laugh

***

(To the tune of John Mayer's "Daughters") Women, make more than your husbands Husbands will sob when you do

***

Baa, baa, black sheep Have you any wool? Yes, sir; yes, sir; Kill all men

***

Hot cross buns! Hot cross buns! One ha' penny, two…