I am going to say “bitch” a lot. I do not like or use the word much, but I’m going to be talking a lot about reaction to female creators, and this is the only way I know how to discuss the experience of getting that word over and over again, until it is expected, until the chorus becomes a dull roar. It’s a word that shows up every day in my inbox and in the inbox of too many female creators. There were “this-bitch’ and ‘this-bitch-again” tags on Goodreads. These tags (and other things, such as one of my friends having “Why Are YA Authors Fat” posted as a “review” that topped her review list for her newest book for months) made it impossible for me to be altogether sorry when some Goodreads reviews were scrubbed. I don’t want reviews censored–but I also do not want to read reviews that are misogynistic and personal. I have had it explained to me countless times that it’s okay for malicious strangers to call me a bitch.

I understood that this response to female creators talking was born of misogyny, but recently I read this article, and felt like my eyes were opened. What people are responding to so badly is professional women trying to do something that is an element of their jobs.

One promotes oneself and one’s work in order to succeed. And yet women are discouraged from promoting. Almost like there’s…some sort of system in place to discourage women from succeeding.

Here is something true: many people act like women have no right to a space in the world.

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Once again inspired by Friend of The Toast Emily Gould. (Previously: Male Novelist Jokes.)

National Novel Writing Month
November 1-30 | “NaNoWriMo: The world needs your novel.”

National Novel Writing Month
November 1-30 | “NaNoWriMo: They’re all gonna laugh at you.”

National Novel Writing Month
November 1-30 | “NaNoWriMo: Cool story, bro.”

National Novel Writing Month
November 1-30 | “NaNoWriMo: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no p

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It’s all happening. You’ve finally decided. Enough waiting around, today is the day you start your bestseller. And yet the path to success is not smooth: it’s a well-documented fact that the beginning is one of the most difficult parts of writing a novel, second only to the conclusion and general plot-heavy middle bit, and so, in the great tradition of the seemingly nonstop Writing Tips From Writerly Writers pieces orbiting the internet like so many axiom-heavy birds of prey, we have compiled a helpful list of starting points to get you going on that crucial first sentence. Try one! Try them all! Try them all at once in a string and BOOM, you’ve got yourself a chapter! Read on:

OPTION #1:

Stevie smiled at Emily. “Dear old Emily,” he thought. “My sweetest, most platonic friend.” Emily smiled back. “Dear old Stevie,” she thought. “One day I will kill you and dance on your grave.”

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Welcome!

Congratulations on your acceptance into the prestigious ranks of the Fotherington-Vanderbilt Weiss Literary Arts Award Selection Committee!

We have prepared the following guidelines to aid you in your selection of a Fotherington-Vanderbilt Weiss Literary Arts Award shortlist. Please read them closely and follow them throughout your selection process.

Residency Requirement

We believe that, as New York City is the world capital of the literary arts community, a strong Fotherington-Vanderbilt Weiss Literary Arts Award shortlist should contain 50 – 60% writers affiliated with New York City. This affiliation can come through birthplace, college attendance, or current residence. For the purposes of the Fotherington-Vanderbilt Weiss Literary Arts Award, New York City will be defined as Brooklyn and Manhattan.

Diversity Guidelines

The shortlist must contain a literary artist who comes from one of the following communities:

– African-American
– Other “Writers of Color”
– Blue-collar
– Foreign-born
– Southern
– LGBTQ
– Female

The Fotherington-Vanderbilt Weiss Literary Arts Foundation is strongly committed to promoting diversity in the literary arts, and our Diversity Guidelines help ensure that we continue to advance this cause; we regret that the Fotherington-Vanderbilt Weiss Literary Arts Award Selection Committee will be unable to consider more than one writer who meets a Diversity requirement, with the exception of white female authors, who may comprise 25 – 35% of the shortlist (space permitting). Please make your selections accordingly.

Illicit content

Graphic depictions of sexual content are permissible so long as the sex is joyless, deviant, or between an older male literature/creative writing professor and a young female student. (The latter is strongly encouraged.)

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