Dearly beloved family and friends,

Thank you for being here tonight, and please help yourself to the appetizers. I’ve gathered you all here to say goodbye to a caring husband, wonderful friend, and supportive side dish, Summer Squash Casserole, who as we sadly learned today, is to die.

We all know Summer Squash Casserole as a creamy, crowd-pleasing side dish that features summer squash, carrots, stuffing mix and cheese baked in a creamy sauce. Crispy on top and creamy in the center, it’s a winner on any menu, and in many hearts. We are all sure of Summer Squash Casserole’s innocence, but today the local CSA courts have issued a grave sentencing.

Who knows what hatred lay in the hearts of the jury of our pears? If anything, Summer Squash Casserole was guilty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and was thrown under the bus. Let us remember we’ve heard nothing from Red Cabbage Stir Fry on that fateful night. We have tried to save Summer Squash Casserole, but to no avail.

Instead of lingering on what tomorrow brings, we’d like to take this time to honor the life Summer Squash Casserole led. Summer Squash Casserole was born of Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Chicken soup and Pepperidge Farm Cornbread Stuffing. He was baked at 350 degrees for 40 minutes, and found a dedicated career serving eight. But he was also a fun-loving casserole–he never let his dish go without a little baked-on cheese to remember him by!

Summer Squash Casserole’s memory will live on in the recipes that people who enjoyed him liked–Chicken & Noodles, Chicken Crunch, and Garlic Mashed Potatoes and Beef Bake.

Let us have a moment of silence.