I never expected anything like The Toast.

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN: "If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, he would get you the worst birthday gifts, but he would look at you with such love that you would never care. Then he would dance for you."

Just read everything; gather ye Toast while ye may.

(One more week.)

If Lea Salonga were your best friend, your text messages would be laced with song lyrics, things you were too shy to tweet, and the occasional dreamcast prediction for the live-action Mulan.

So I finally watched Zootopia.

This week! It was a good week.

I GET TO SEE NICOLE TODAY

There are a dang lot of toast necklaces on Etsy.

HAPPY FRIDAY

IT'S HAPPENING

HIGHLIGHTS

"You left your culture at the door when you married a white guy."

If LeVar Burton and Yo-Yo Ma were your dads, you would be able to judge a book by its cover. Literally. You’d never waste your time reading books that would only disappoint you.

If LeVar Burton and Yo-Yo Ma were your dads, no one would be permitted to "joke" about arts and humanities majors’ dead-end jobs in your presence. No one would even want to.

Today I'm giving myself the gift of Captain America: Civil War and a couple of good Twitter auto-blockers. What are you all up to this weekend?

A little sea-bathing would set me up forever.

One of my goals for 2016 is to finalize my name change.