1. Female when used to refer to a human woman.

2. Crazy when used to refer to your ex-girlfriend(s). They cannot all be crazy. Maybe it’s just you.

3. Bitch, in nearly every context, but particularly if you are referring to your romantic partner, a woman you don’t like, a woman who has spurned you, or really, any woman at all. Also, when gratuitously used in music ie: “Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe,” or “That’s how you let the beat build bitch,” or “I see two of my bitches in the club.”

4. Censorship, the cry of, when you have said something offensive and then resent that your offense hasn’t been warmly embraced.

You cannot possibly understand how bad I am at keeping news to myself, nor what a toll keeping this particular news took on my frail and mortal frame, but please share in my joy: Roxane Gay is coming to The Toast, where she will be running our very first vertical, The Butter. She’s officially starting on October 15th, and there will be plenty more details to come, but in the meantime please join me in dancing excitedly about the room.

What is a vertical, exactly? Oh, it’s a bit hard to describe — it’s part of our company, but it’s also its own thing. Think of it as the FX to our FOX. Wait, is FX owned by FOX? I ought to know this. You’ll be able to visit it here. If you were raised Christian, think of it as part of a Trinity; eternally begotten of the Toast, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in Being with the Toast.

What will this particular vertical be like? WHATEVER ROXANE WANTS IT TO BE.

Would you care to be more specific? Roxane says it will “focus on cultural criticism and personal essays that make readers think and feel.”