I called him Henry. Henry was much like a houseguest who had overstayed his welcome. While he was no trouble to begin with — and in fact, I barely noticed him at all — after 12 to 18 months, our relationship was beginning to strain. He popped in and out whenever he wanted; he didn’t exactly cause any trouble but I always knew he was there, taking up valuable real estate.
You're gonna see a lot of birds in your life, my mens- and my womensfolk, and you have got to be prepared at any minute to look at em. Do I wish it weren't that way? Heck yes I do. It's not fair that we have to be on the lookout 100% of our days for skymouths, feather nuggets, reverse dogs, angel centaurs, whatever you want to call them, "air skunks." The sky needs to…
WHERE ARE MY JAMMIES
sir they're right where you left them
NOT THOSE
THOSE ARE MY CIGAR JAMMIES
I WANT MY WHISKEY JAMMIES
I ONLY WEAR THE CIGAR JAMMIES WHEN I'M SMOKING CIGARS
here they are, sir
ARE YOU BLIND
THOSE ARE MY UNDERSECRETARY JAMMIES
I HAVEN'T WORN THOSE SINCE THE BOER WAR
I started working as a writer for reality TV the same week I graduated from my MFA program. For eight hours a day, I sorted through footage of uniformed men and wrote deep-bellied voiceovers full of puns that would make your dad cringe for a show that I will refer to as "Rural Cops."
So maybe my favorite part about all of Greek history is that Sappho was just such a BIG GAY BUMMER that it pretty much killed her. (This may or may not be true. 100% of what we know about Sappho is "this may or may not be true," except for the rumor that she threw herself off of a cliff for the love of some male boatman, which is a vile calumny invented by, I…
In her new book, Sex with Shakespeare: Here's Much to Do with Pain, but More with Love, Jillian Keenan uses Shakespeare's plays as a vehicle to tell the story of how she came to understand her own sexuality.
Hi, Mallory! I'm a longtime reader, and have greatly enjoyed the Convert Series as I've been navigating my own relationship with faith over the past year. I just became a Bahá'í tonight, and I don't think you've talked to anyone making that particular journey. If you're interested, I'd enjoy taking about my experience.
"With so many brothers and sisters, a piglet can be pushed out into the cold. This is dangerous for a piglet. Luckily, farmer Richard Johnson has a pig bath."
And here you are - the piglet which is also yourself - and you're cold, and you've been pushed away from what is naturally yours, what is your birthright, and you cannot get to what you want, and here you are in the cold.
