The Toast's advice columnist, Aunt Acid, responds to a reader whose partner doesn't like to save and another who is worried about her sister's marriage.
Jane Eyre
is a book about a woman who hates feeling comfortable. Every meal that passes her lips is full of gravel and self-sufficiency. Sometimes she drinks tea, but more often than not she turns it down suspiciously, for what if within the tea someone had secretly placed the bonds of servitude?? Here is every meal she begrudgingly eats before running away into the hills.
Art is important. It is an echo of the real world, capturing our perceptions and reflecting them back to us. And what do we discover reflected in the story of Marie-Laure? A well-crafted homage to destructive stereotypes about blindness, softened and made pretty by artful prose.
POLICE CAPTAIN
: Monseigneur Bishop
we have apprehended this man – a known criminal – outside your gates with a set of silver candlesticks he claims you gave him
what say you?
BISHOP MYRIEL
: Yes, he stole them. [
to Jean Valjean
] You wretched leech, if you wanted silver candlesticks, you should have created them.
You might call it a story of blurred lines, perhaps, but the lines weren’t blurry to me. I was terrified that I would be kicked out of my graduate program because a professor wanted a sexual relationship with me and I turned him down.
ZENOBIA
: I would like to discuss the possibility of hiring another housekeeper if Mattie ever gets married
as you know I'm chronically ill
and the doctor insists I have a live-in carer to help treat my condition
You go to a party where you don't know anyone. You:
a) Go home. There's no point meeting people you probably won’t like.
b) Remind partygoers that after an examination, their pupils remain dilated, and they should avoid looking at bright lights in order to prevent damage.
c) Go over to the DJ booth and play some music you like.
what
im not smiling
what do you mean
i don't know how i look
honestly im not even thinking about anything in particular
quit asking
why are you so obsessed with figuring out what im smiling about
or not smiling
i cant even tell
Wuthering Heights
is the story of a group of people who eat the most miserable meals imaginable, and cannot experience love as a result. Sometimes they have tea, but more often they are merely offered it, and decide they are too furious to have tea, and die instead. Here is every meal the characters of
Wuthering Heights
almost eat before being interrupted by sex-rage and dying.
This is what nuclear wasteland fashion should be - classic, stunning, thoughtful. The muted palette is practical without being dull, and incorporates a pop of color on that gorgeous weapon belt. The athletic shoulders and breastplate have a vicious, metallic-studded twist.
Josh:
I would describe my comedy less as "nice" and more as "friendly." I try to make work that people in the audience aren’t gonna be bummed out hearing.
Pretty much the key thing to know about gender confirmation surgeries in general is that we as humans can do them, which is itself weird and wonderful and kind of unbelievable. Think about it: a body can be anesthetized and wounded and healed in such a way as to feel like a home it wasn't before. Each piece of the process still seems miraculous to me.
