“It is of the utmost importance that a black child see on that screen someone who looks like him . Our children have been suffering from the lack of identifiable images as long as our children as been born.”— James Baldwin, Sidney Poitier

“Toni Morrison said that as soon as a character of color is introduced in a story imagination stops…I mean, I’m a black woman from Central Falls, Rhode

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haha ok great, great touching and kissing so just on the count of three we'll both push away a little bit and stand separately for a minute, okay? haha okay one more kiss okay but now we're really going to do it okay? here we go one two ahhh you are both so close to just shaking hands which i am super happy to do instead of face-petting and pointing at…

Lindsay King-Miller's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Here at the Final Girl Groves Retirement Home, we provide top-quality live-in care, recreational activities, and social opportunities for Final Girls in their senior years. If you’re a smart, resourceful, pretty-but-not-too-slutty woman who has survived brutal serial killers, zombie attacks, vengeful spirits, and the return of secrets from your own dark past, we believe you deserve to spend your golden years in peace…

Previously: Shirley Jackson's What To Expect When You're Expecting. "Jim and Imelda know that no live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Having already seen two city-center apartments, they're ready to take a chance and look at Hill House, not sane, which has stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it's stood so for eighty…

READ THIS (on how students victimized by predatory colleges are fighting back):

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Rebecca Carroll on her anger:

I’m angry that I was surrendered into adoption by a white mother whose exotification and resentment of black men resulted in my unwanted existence, and then adopted by white parents who are, for the most part, willfully colorblind. I’m angry that not one of these parents –

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Previously in this series: If Stephen Colbert Were Your Dad If you were Wonder Woman and Chris Pine were your boyfriend, you'd take a special, spiteful pleasure in apprehending any criminal who dressed in plaid. Because all day, every day, you'd be SURROUNDED by plaid. On laundry day, you'd look into the hamper and yell, "Jesus H. Christ, it looks like the Brawny Man vomited into this thing!" and Chris Pine would chuckle from…

You can't go in there! Why, no one enters the Forbidden Zone and returns to tell the tale!
You can't go in there! Why, no one goes past the Silent Sentinels without express permission from the Guardian Herself!
You can't go in there! Why, such a thing has not been done by someone of ungentle blood in seventeen generations, since before the Moon was veiled!

You may have noticed that I am completely and utterly obsessed with Lin-Manuel Miranda's basically perfect musical, Hamilton, the cast album for which you can either buy or stream in full here (I recommend buying it, obviously, but you can also get it for free if you have Amazon Prime.) I have been listening to said album NON-STOP (that is also the name of a song), and one of the greatest pleasures of this has…

Your damned insolence , peasant!
Another word against Lady Micklemack-Zero-Gravity, slave!
These outrageous accusations against the High House of Stabbington, you nameless wench!

When he goes to her in the morning, I listen for the words I know: buenos dias, ojo, pelo, bébé. The morning words will be simple ones. Nouns. I remember nouns. I can remember most numbers, too, when we sit on the floor and count blocks. I often forget siete, so I start over, hoping it will come back the next time around.   “The way you go about helping your child become bilingual isn’t…

God, that's an awful, awful name. I'm going to have to find a better series title. Anyhow, here is one of the many flawless songs from Dewey Cox , it is a note-perfect imitation of Brian Wilson's "Smile," which I have never listened to, but that's what everyone keeps telling me it is, and I love it, so.

This is a really depressing piece (American teen Muslims in the age of Ben Carson et al):

Beydoun said: “I see a lot of awful things in the media; people dying, discrimination, politicians being disgusting, but this really hit home because that was me he was talking about.” “I’m educated enough to know that what he’s saying is absolutely against the constitution, but what about all the kids in my area who…

Happy Friday, Toast! Last night I had a lot of feelings and cookie dough before bed and dreamed that Lin-Manuel Miranda was going to run for President and fix all our problems. I was pretty disappointed when I woke up and remembered who's actually running. It's thrown my whole day off. This week, Mallory rewrote the fairy tale The Six Swans, and it was lovely. Leaving a cocktail party early to eat some bison and other…

"The reason we're not going to do this sketch is that it contains a great deal of sex and violence."

"A great deal."

"Lots of sex and violence."

"That's right. During the sketch, Stephen hits me several times with a golf club."

"Which, of course, wouldn't matter, except that I hit Hugh very sexily."