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Intoxicating Women: Travels in Gin and Gender

I’m sitting alone in Girvan, Scotland, on one of the longest days of the year, looking at the late sun and thinking about the women who all of a sudden caught fire.

There were a good number of them. Enough, in the 1700s, to constitute a chapter in the medical literature. The most-quoted British case is Grace Pitt, a 60ish female whose charred corpse was discovered one morning in 1744—like “a log of wood, consumed by a fire.” But there was no fire in the grate. And nothing else in the room had been singed. Pitt was caught, it seemed, in a strange flame that came from within.

Until recently, I knew of spontaneous combustion only from Krook in Bleak House, whose demise seemed ridiculous to me before I picked up the novel and unblinkingly terrifying when I got to the passage in question. But the eerie little tradition that Dickens extends makes a man like Krook exceptional as well as late. (Bleak House began publication in 1852.) In the eighteenth century, those who burn are often as mysterious as Krook; many are poor; many are single or widowed; almost all are old. As Dickens himself wrote in a letter, however, the real-life cases were “all of women.”

How did combustion happen? Of course it didn’t. But one cause was reasonable enough: gin. A dissembling liquid— sometimes clear as water, sometimes cloudy with dubious flavors. The newest, most dangerous of the hard liquors. Those who drank too much soaked their very flesh and blood in its treachery. Fire was the just consequence.

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Buttered This Week: Aug. 15-21

This week was the full feelings buffet. Remember, you can always come back for more: Celeste Ng called How to Make Yogurt in Manila by Grace Talusan ‘beautiful and moving’ (on the Twitter machine) so you don’t have to take our word for its awesomeness. “Things That Are Meant To Make You Feel Safe And […]

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Dirtbag Karl Marx

KARL MARX: [running up the stairs] more like crapitalism
HENRIETTA MARX: what was that?
KARL MARX: nothing

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Unconvincing Hymns of the Temperance Army

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I first got sucked into the weird vortex of Temperance Hymns while checking some facts in a book about the history of the university where I work. The book mentioned that “the program in the closing day exercises of the first term featured children singing, ‘Saloons Must Go’ as they marched determinedly around the room for the benefit of the spectators.”

“Is that a real song?” I wondered. (Yes.)

It’s hard to imagine now, but the temperance movement was a hotbed of feminist and other progressive causes, especially tied to women’s rights and abolishing slavery, with lots of women leaders. Forward-looking in some ways, regressive in others, temperance crusaders had what they thought was, in many ways, the one weird trick that would cure all our societal ills. Get rid of the demon drink, and domestic abuse, poverty, corruption, and all the other sins would just go along with it.

Still, it’s hard for me not to admire their enthusiasm — particularly when I see the great lengths to which their songs go to make the case that you should only drink water for the rest of your life for the following reasons:

1. Alcoholic drinks will turn you into a demon.

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Randomly Selected Sentences From Thomas Jefferson’s Wiki Page

They may be gone by the time you read this, the internet is a fluid and beautiful thing.

1. “As long as he lived, Jefferson expressed opposition to slavery, yet owned hundreds of slaves and freed only a few of them.”

2. “Several times Jefferson purchased slaves in order to unite families.”

3. “Jefferson’s views on slavery and African slaves were complex, maintaining that the institution of slavery was harmful to both slave and master while working many slaves for his own profit.”

4. “Some researchers suggest Jefferson’s slave ownership contradicted his philosophy of ‘all men are created equal’.”

5. “In the 1790s, Jefferson opened his own nail manufactory where slaves from ten to sixteen years old worked to manufacture nails.”

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Nobody Knows What Old Newspapers Were Going On About

“Corn is good” is not news.

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Dirtbag Louis XIV

MAZARIN: sire, Paris is revolting
LOUIS XIV: lol youre damn right it is
MAZARIN: sire please
you make that joke every time there is a revolution
and it is a very good one
but there is an actual mob at the gates
LOUIS XIV: so stay away from the gates then
this place has like sixty rooms
go find another one

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AP History in the Less Magic Kingdom: “Elsa the Philosopher Queen”

Previously in this series: “Snow White the False”

Good morning class! Over the course of this semester, we have had the opportunity to examine, and sometimes reappraise, how different monarchical institutions have adapted to crises. These monarchies are, by their nature, conservative and generally do not change course in the absence of fairly drastic events, usually driven by external forces. A single person – even if that person wears the Crown – rarely has the power to change an entire society on their own. They are prisoners of the institutions that made them.

And so today I want to begin by talking about one of the most important of those “before” kings. Some have said that his reign has been lost in the long shadow of history compared to the rule of his far more famous daughter, but in fact that “shadow” was of his own making. I am, of course, talking about King Agnarr, the last King of Arendelle before the Enlightenment.

King Agnarr was, according to documents of the time, a paranoid shut-in, and obsessed with the occult. His indulgences in the folk beliefs in his kingdom were initially eyebrow-raising, if mostly harmless, at least when he confined himself to voyages into the forest to commune with “trolls.”

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