"Well, why did you do it? Are you some sort of jerk or something?"

"Hey, any of you guys ever beat up your dad?"

"Now war and the bloodshed and the sexual frustration is everywhere, so for this reason, the Grand Council of Hot Love, you know, up in space, decide to dispatch three of their finest love commandos - Monique, Trudie, and Ginger - to seek out hate and the evil and sexy problems, right? Now aided only by Sexboy, without whose sex nourishment their sexual energy is incomplete and relying only on their ability to generate sexual…

"WELL, IT CERTAINLY IS NICE TO MEET YOU. THERE'S NOTHING I WOULD RATHER DO THAN JUST STAND HERE AND CHAT WITH YOU. YOU KNOW? JUST REALLY GET TO KNOW YOU."

"I'm fine, I'm perfect, we've been talking about Arizona, there's been no problem, and as usual you're overreacting. No, I was not doing CO-CAIIIINE."

"But everyone hates the bass player. No one invites the bass player to the party after the show."

"Hey, what are you guys doing after the show? Oh, nothing?"

"I've got to get out and plant the sheep!"

It is a great comedy sketch. It is a great music video. It is a great graduate thesis. It is a great personal manifesto. It is the best life advice any woman could ever receive. Tammy doesn't spread for no roses , and neither should you.

I don't, okay? I just don't. She creeps me out. And I know it's SUPPOSED to be creepy, and unsettling, and comedy isn't just about making you feel COMFORTABLE, MALLORY, YOU BOURGEOUIS PEASANT (THAT INSULT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE, OTHER MALLORY). But...gahh. I don't know. I know the problem is with me, and not with the sketch. But I don't even like to look at this link. Here, you watch it.

I will confess here simply that I have never cared for the Chicken Lady sketches. They leave me cold.

You'd better take off that party hat, son. You won't need it where we're going.

It's a beautiful, simple idea - take something seriously that is not meant to be taken seriously - that's absolutely perfect for the Kids ' brand of wide-eyed, terrifying sincerity. A bikini inspector who rides the bus to work ("There's an hour right there"), who makes $8.67 an hour, who can't understand why so many guys in bars and on the beach want to pretend to have his job.

"Got a big day ahead of me, several things to do. Got to keep on top of my life, got to keep on top of my life. I have seven things to do. Number one: Banking. Number two: Pick up dry cleaning. Okay, ya just knocked over an old lady, keep moving, ya got seven things to do."

The "Nobody Likes Us" Guys are alive and well and thriving on the internet. The gelled-back bangs! The pouts! The slouches! You know these guys. They might be in the room with you right now .

The black-and-white sketches are always the most important. MY PEN. MY PEN. MY PEN. MY PEN.