ron is a time traveling dumbledore Archives

Ronbledore Deniers

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Books Apr 24, 2014

Others will try to smear and discredit me. This is how you will know I am telling you the truth about Ronbledore.

The following are comments that various haters and deniers have attempted to leave on every Ronbledore-themed article I have written over the last several months. I do not know if they are all governed by the same shadowy hand, or if their name is Legion. I do know that their objective is the same: to smear and discredit anyone who dares attempt reveal the truth.

The truth is that Ron Weasley is a time-traveling Dumbledore. Open your eyes.

1. “Also Harry sees a picture of a young Dumbledore and Aberforth and yet Ron and Dumbledore look nothing alike, gee. Whackjobs” [Ed. note — Your almost immediate reliance upon argumentum ad hominem tells me even you realize the tenuous ground upon which your argument rests. Riddle me this, Time Scholar: If Ron and Dumbledore look nothing alike, then why was this the cover of the last three Harry Potter books, all of which were titled “Harry Potter and the RON IS DUMBLEDORE”?]

2. “Interesting theory, but a tiny yet significant point is that Redhead people don’t normally have blue eyes.

In fact, I’m not sure if JKR was aware of this at the time of mentioning it or not, but Redhead with Blue eyes is one of the rarest genetic combinations ever.

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The Secret “Ronbledore” Pages of Harry Potter Revealed By Court Order

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Folklore Apr 15, 2014

Previously in the Ronbledore saga: J.K. Rowling “regret[s] pairing Ron and Hermione together (because Ron is a time-traveling Dumbledore).”

J.K. Rowling has long attempted to downplay the existence of Ronbledore in early drafts of the Harry Potter books. A recent court order has released these never-before-seen drafts that have only been the stuff of legends. Until now.

“In OotP, Ron is nearly strangled by some purple wizard robes while cleaning up Grimmauld Place. Who do we know wears purple robes?”

“Where were you, Ron?” Harry asked. “We’ve got to finish cleaning up before the rest of the Order get back.”

“I’m not Dumbledore,” Ron said quickly. “I’m Ron. And we’re two different people, living in time normally, from back to front, as is our wizard custom.”

“I know,” said Harry. “I know that.”

Ron pulled the purple robes back over his head. “Just out of curiosity, what year is it and also what name do you typically use when referring to me?”

***

It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are,” Dumbledore said, “far more than our abilities.” Harry tried to smile, nodded and turned to leave. “Thanks, Headmaster.”

“Help me,” came a frightened whisper from behind him. “I’m Ron.”

“What?”

“I said…” Dumbledore hesitated. “I said…” A single tear rolled down his cheek. “I said, ‘I love Tron.’ I love the movie Tron.”

“Right, then,” Harry said, and left the room.

“I’m Ron,” Dumbledore whispered after he’d gone.

54 Comments

“I regret pairing Ron and Hermione together (because Ron is a time-traveling Dumbledore),” JK Rowling Admits

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Books Feb 03, 2014

Previously in the Ronbledore saga: This guy on an old Harry Potter forum says Dumbledore is a time-traveling Ron Weasley and I want to hear him out.

Fans of the Harry Potter series were stunned this weekend after author JK Rowling finally admitted her regret in pairing Ron and Hermione together, implicitly lending her support to the “Ron is a time-traveling Dumbledore” theory that has resulted in the death and denial of so many. While some claim it is too little, too late — particularly those who fought in the Ronbledore front lines with no assistance for years — it must be seen as a remarkable victory for supporters of truth.

(Lest we forget: “‘4. Foreshadowing. Ron makes it very clear on several occasions that he hates the color maroon. Could it be because he will eventually be ‘marooned’ in time?’ YES.”)

From The Sunday Times (TIMES??!?! THAT NAME IS NO COINCIDENCE):

“I wrote the Hermione/Ron relationship as a form of wish fulfillment [because I wished that Ron could be a normal human man instead of Dumbledore, trapped in time],” she says. “That’s how it was conceived, really [much as Ron was conceived as a Child of Time]. For reasons that have very little to do with literature [but a great deal to do with the Benghazi time-traveling Illuminati — This Ronbledore rabbit hole goes so deep. Benghazi time-traveling Illuminati doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. Everyone is involved in the cover-up. If you don’t think you’re a part of the cover-up, you’re already in too deep] and far more to do with me clinging to the plot as I first imagined it, Hermione ended up with Ron [until he disappeared from mortal eyes in the Weasley Quickening].”

115 Comments

This Guy On An Old Harry Potter Forum Says Dumbledore Is A Time-Traveling Ron Weasley And I Want To Hear Him Out

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Ancient Grains, Books, Magic Jan 02, 2014

I do not remember offhand what I was doing for the entirety of 2004; playing a bit of indifferent tennis on the William Fremd frosh/soph high school team, to be sure; carefully nursing a hallway crush that necessitated careful class-navigation strategizing; rollerblading to Subway with my friend Emily a lot, because we both really enjoyed Subway. I think I worked at Portillo’s that summer, but I can’t be entirely certain. What I most assuredly was not doing, unfortunately, was learning about the “Dumbledore is a time-traveling Ron Weasley” on Harry Potter fan forums.

But I could have done. For nigh on ten years, this theory has been kept from me, until I stumbled across it quite inadvertently on the eve of this new year. Let’s hear this out, my heart cried within me. Let the man speak. Let him produce evidence; let us judge the merits of his argument, unfettered by bias or prejudice.

(Did you know about this? Did you keep this from me? Were you, in short, afraid?)

Ron, our loyal Knight, will become a time traveler. He will be sent back in time to some point in the 19th century to live out the rest of his days at Albus Dumbledore, our venerable King. The exact mechanics of his journey in time are unclear, though we do believe it is unavoidable, and that it will in fact be the very move that enables Harry’s eventual defeat of Voldemort (the checkmate) and that it will also have something to do with the White Queen (Bellatrix). Though you may think us a couple of nutters for making such an outrageous claim, we do indeed have evidence. Lots and lots of evidence.

I am properly strapped in. I have read the precautionary materials; I have no known heart conditions and am neither a pregnant nor a nursing mother. All of my arms and legs are safely inside the vehicle. I am ready to go on this ride with you.

241 Comments