Masturbating With a Stuffed Tribble
Shing Yin Khor’s last cartoon for The Toast was a thought-provoking exploration of racial identity, as opposed to this one, which is straight-up about trying to get off on a stuffed tribble.
About Author
by Shing Yin Khor
Shing Yin Khor is a cranky Hufflepuff, and also an illustrator, writer and sculptor. You can follow her on Twitter.
Latest Comments
There are just no words. Bravo, Shing Yin Khor. Bravo, The Toast.
My daughter owns one of those tribbles. In fact, it is sitting on the floor in front of me right now. It doesn't have eyes, but I can feel it staring at me accusingly nonetheless.
Is there a way to ensure a comic by Shing Yin Khor on The Toast at least every month? Because I'm pretty sure such a measure would only be the best thing to ever happen.
Aw man, I thought you were kidding when you said your next comic would be about trying to modify a toy tribble to turn it into a vibrator!
…I'm so happy you weren't kidding!
fingers… not working… gasping… can't breathe… can relate… dying….
This is great but I am mostly posting to say that Henry IV part I is OBVIOUSLY SO MUCH MORE FUN than Much Ado About Nothing
PREACH.
YES IT IS
The History Plays are the absolute best and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.
but did she make a serum from his super tribble blood
Best Tag.
Defeated death. But didn't get off. Eh.
well, this is amazing!
oh my god
I salute you and your dedication to orgasms
I HAVE one of those tribbles. But mine giggles and vibrates when you squeeze it
something something "sex toy"… LITERALLY.
no but this is obviously the best. I love your storytelling, your art style and your lettering!
Seriously. I liked the story but the composition and coloring tell me to go look at more of her stuff.
The lettering yessss whyyyy can't I write like that.
(The rest of it was awesome too!)
It's a font, since I doubt anyone can be that consistent with their lower-case Y's. I've no clue what font it might be though, and I want it!
Ah, and it seems the question is answered just a short distance down the page! It's a custom font based on her handwriting. And I still want it. (and I also want to make my own fonts now, too.)
I am so glad that I am *not* the only person who has considered the masturbatory potential of a Tribble.
"I'm not incredibly bright, but I'm pretty sure I cannot masturbate with bok choy" –> someone's epitaph, anyone, please
I'm taking this as a personal challenge actually.
Where there's a will, there's a way. Also, rule 34? Is there bok choy porn out there?
Well, there is *now*.
Ha ha, yay!
In my high school days, before I had a real vibrator, I did try to use one of those Bumble Balls (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL2x2bFBB8s). It was nice and rumbly over the pants, but unfortunately ours was a special surf branded one or something, because instead of just vibrating it played Wipe Out. If that wasn't enough, it STOPPED during the "he he he he he, Wipe out" part.
I am quietly chuckling out loud to myself right now. "Wipe Out" is just such an unsexy song, & the idea of trying to get off to it is hilarious.
(also, if anyone listens to the Comedy Bang! Bang! podcast, there's a running joke about "Wipe Out" that, while not particularly relevant to this, somehow adds to my amusement.)
& is now a good time to mention that I once tried to masturbate with a Squiggle Wiggle Writer vibrating pen when I was a teenager? despite the absence of a surf-guitar soundtrack, I was unsuccessful.
I once succeed in masturbating with a Squiggle Wiggle Writer. I am not trying to one-up you, but since you mentioned it…
showoff. :)
haha, if only you'd been around 15(?) years ago to tell me your secrets…
Oh my goddddd….that is the worst song for that purpose. My condolences.
I keep remembering shit about this! If you turned it off and back on, it would reset to the beginning (i.e., cut off the vocal and go back to vibratey guitar lick). So I tried just doing that too.
No dice, and all in all not worth it when you also have a lovely handheld shower head.
This will date me (I am twenty-nine, therefore positively dappled with grey wisdom and "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" reruns), but possibly the least intelligent decision I ever made in this vein involved a Playstation 2 controller that vibrated when you held down a shoulder button in Soul Reaver 2. That shit was plugged in to a power source.
Also, can I ask who made the font you're using? Or did you use one of the handwriting converter whatsits?
It's based on my handwriting! I used yourfonts.com, and their template was really easy, although you don't get any post-scan modification. I have three I rotate around – I named them Chickenscratch, Ladyscratch and Times New Fuckthisshit.
*high fives for trying to masturbate with a PS2 controller*
Awesome. I was sincerely hoping that it was your own handwriting because a) I've been wary of paying for conversion because I've seen some vector output nowhere near as clean as what you have here, and b) you have amazing handwriting with perfect y and g loops, and the world needs more handwriting heroes. Also, Times New Fuckthisshit.
There's a whole game on the Dreamcast that can be used as a sex toy. I forget what it's called, but it's like a rhythm game.
1. Obviously, this is amazing.
2. What is wrong with me that my primary emotion is now feeling so sad for that tribble?
Holy shit, this is hysterical.
I have always needed this to exist.
Howling.
I totally have that vibrator!
oh man the warp core breach drink was the best though
It was SO GOOD. I am so sad about the closing of the Star Trek experience.
Best thing ever. And that point when you're just walking around the house, holding every damn thing up for, "Could this POSSIBLY…?Nah. Damn," inspection? Painfully true.
Sooo funny Shing.
This ranks up there with the best things i have ever seen on the internet (and those things include baby pangolins so that's some stiff [heh] competition)
*cough*
Been there, done that.
Am I the only one who was mentally McGyvering this toy/tool along the way by, say, opening up the Tribble seam juuuuuust enough to slip that wooden spoon in to create a pleasingly curved stylus with a vibrating base?
… oh god, I am, aren't I?
This is completely great and you are so great and I am kind of in love with you because THESE COMICS ARE SO BRILLIANT the end thank you bye.
I'm not even laughing because this is so brilliant. And wonderful.
"…the lush pubes of a well-conditioned Viking…" Wow. Just…wow.
This is the best thing on The Toast today, and today may have been The Toast's best day.
You are a goddess. This is so giddily hysterical.
All my life… I thought I was alone in the embarrassing array of "objects-not-intended-for-masturbation-purposes" I violated.
The first, a Burger King toy: http://www.collectorsconnection.com/imagesh4/45a8…
Second: A Tickle-Me Cookie Monster. I took the vibrating mechanism out and stabbed some part inside of it that rendered it silent. "Shhhh, Cookie… it'll all be over soon…"
Third: Playstation Controller. Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver was the game of choice… there was this one elevator you could operate that gave you five-second bursts. I'm sure some of the more lengthy summons in Final Fantasy 8 would also have done the trick.
And recently I've discovered the potential of the HEXBUG Nano as a personal vibrator.
Moral of the story is: Never buy a vibrating toy for your child.