Twelve Classic Novels As Summarized By Someone Who Has Not Read Them
“It’s been very nice, out here at the edge. Wish you were here. Miss you very much; hope to see you soon. All my love.”
–
Postcards From The Edge
“A backpack, a sleeping bag, a canteen, a shaving kit, some food, a gun, and some ammunition. And an extra pair of boots, in case something happens to my boots. Well, that’s pretty much it, fellas. Everything you’ll need to carry for Vietnam.”
–
The Things They Carried
“What a nice day it had been, here in the jungle.”
–
The Jungle
“I think the yellow wallpaper looks best,” she said.
“How right you are.”
They were always happy afterwards that they had chosen the yellow wallpaper. It looked so much better than the green had.
–
The Yellow Wallpaper
“After today,” he said, “I hardly feel like a stranger here at all anymore.”
It was true. He was really more like a friend.
–
The Stranger
“Let’s go back to Brideshead,” she said.
“Oh, what a good idea.”
It really was a good idea. They had a wonderful time revisiting Brideshead.
–
Brideshead Revisited
“Should we go in without him?”
“No, let’s wait. He’d wait for us.”
“How would you like to pass the time? Screaming at one another and observing a distressing sadomasochistic relationship without intervening, or otherwise?”
“Let’s just play cards and talk about our weekends.”
“What a nice idea.”
“And then if he’s not here in thirty minutes, we’ll figure out our next move.”
“Sounds good.”
“Because it would be ridiculous, to wait here indefinitely.”
–
Waiting For Godot
“It’s awfully cold out,” she said, shivering.
“Not too cold for love?” he asked worriedly.
“No, not too cold for love,” she said, smiling.
–
Love In A Cold Climate
He looked so peaceful, sleeping in the cradle.
“I hate to move him,” she whispered.
“Why don’t we let him sleep in the cradle just for tonight,” he suggested, “and the baby can sleep with us.”
“What a nice idea,” she said.
It really was.
–
Cat’s Cradle
“Don’t feel so bad about it,” he said. “Things fall apart sometime.”
“Then you’re really not mad?” she sniffed.
“Hey,” he said, putting his arm around her, “we can always put them back together.”
–
Things Fall Apart
“Are these for me?” he asked, hardly daring to believe it.
They were.
–
Flowers For Algernon
The jackal curled up gratefully by the fire. It had been a long day for such a little jackal, and now it was time to rest.
–
The Day Of The Jackal
[Grateful credit for The Jungle goes to Jess Zimmerman ]
Sounds like you read Godot to me…
Was JUST coming down here to say this. She totally read it.
I like Mallory's version SOOOO much better though.
a long day for such a little jackal
oh
I absolutely want to read the childrens' book version of the Day of the Jackal where all the adorable forest animals conspire to kill De Gaulle
Would De Gaulle be depicted as a capybara?
Hard to tell.
Obligatory jackal picture.
http://www.topnews.in/files/Jackal-Pup.jpg
And such a little jackal too!
Can we trade these in for the originals? Or at least, like, 5 of them?
"Just for tonight," he said, clearly never having met a cat before.
I keep periodically checking this trying to see if anyone else has the confidence (or ignorance) to ask what this references?
I'm owning my shame, and asking myself.
Or a baby.
He was quite sure that no one could see him.
Indeed, no one could, and that was pretty special.
~ Invisible Man
I am going to try to convince myself that the above version of Flowers for Algernon is real. How nice for Algernon!
Speaking of books that make you cry!
Oh man, I bawled and bawled and bawled over that one.
I fully believe that Fanny and Alfred had that exact conversation off-page in Love In A Cold Climate.
"What do you want to do?"
Atlas shrugged. "Idk. Whatever you want, I guess." He could never really make up his mind.
“A backpack, a sleeping bag, a canteen, a shaving kit, some food, a gun, and some ammunition. And an extra pair of boots, in case something happens to my boots. Well, that’s pretty much it, fellas. Everything you’ll need to carry for Vietnam.”
jeez how many extra pairs of boots does this douche need
Mallory, have you not read Brideshead Revisited? Because, please do. It's everything I wanted about nostalgia and religion (and conversion, actually!), and love and repression and wonderful scenes where people just swan around country estates saying witty things.
OF COURSE I HAVE
Oh thank god. My world had briefly been confused.
I am so relieved. For a moment I thought, no wait is that just Catholics?
"You know what we should do today?" she murmured, lazily.
"What's that, my darling?"
"We should take the ferry to Terabithia and make a day of it."
"Oh, didn't you know? There's a bridge now. That will save a lot of time."
I think it's time for my "memories of Bridge to Terebithia" cry now…
I read that book when I was 11 and I still tear up thinking about it.
100% improvement. Now I want to read a novel about these lazy, sight-seeing aristocrats and their ambling adventures.
Rama was late as usual, but it was so nice to see him again, and the lunch was very pleasant.
-Rendezvous With Rama
Since I started cognitive-behavioral therapy, I've hardly had any problems with my agoraphobia at all. Now it almost feels like the sky is sheltering us.
-The Sheltering Sky
"Louis! You've had seventeen brumaires already! Don't you think you should stop?" "Oh, come on now! What's one more brumaire?"
-The Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Bonaparte
i sort of kind of want a compilation storybook of these for real, because I think they would be restful at very mentally tough times. knowing the real stories would keep it just funny enough, and you could still benefit from the gentle tone and the certainty that nothing bad will happen, garaunteed.
I absolutely agree. These stories are lovely.
They really are.
"We surrender!"
"This castle is now ALL MINE!"
I Capture The Castle
Our family has lived in this beautiful castle for a long time. It always makes me happy to come home.
"We have always lived in the Castle."
Is it terrible that I still get those mixed up all the time? I mean, just the titles, obviously.
The patient was very polite and spoke with a charming accent. After his appendectomy, he sent the nurses and doctors a nice thank you card and a lovely box of Earl Grey tea.
-The English Patient
They went to the lighthouse. It was very nice.
-To the Lighthouse
"There they are, over there."
"Where? I can't see them."
"Beside that oak tree. Do you see them now? Here, use the binoculars."
"Ah, yes, I see them, mother! I see them!"
-Where the Wild Things Are
"That's my story and I'm stickin' to it," said Genji.
-The Tale of Genji
"This kite is never going to fly :("
"You should try running with it instead of walking."
"Oh that did it! Thank you!"
-The Kite Runner
"You know, just for fun, we could crawl inside this big ol' pile of leaves and pretend like it's our house!"
They did. It really was fun.
– House of Leaves
It really was.
The phone rang. "Hey there!" Julie's voice sang out on the other end of the line. "Lisa, Becky, and I are going to the mall. Want to come along? We're heading out soon and we can pick you up."
"Sounds great," Michelle said. "See you then!" She placed the phone gently in its cradle and walked back down the hall to the bathroom. "Man, I go through hairspray fast," she murmured as she shook the aerosol can. Nobody was worried about climate change except a few hippies, and they weren't going to be at the mall.
Nineteen Eighty-Four
If only I had more up-votes to give…
"Thank you for showing me the sunset, which I have never seen before because I grew up in a sewer and today is my first day above ground. Wow what a spectacle. I will never see the sun do something so spectacular."
"Buddy, I got news for you. The sun also rises!"
That's one of my all-time favorite titles, but I've never read the book.
I haven't either, but I feel pretty confident in assuming it's about a sewer person adjusting to life on the surface.
Typically brilliant.
Also, there is a great UCB sketch with a similar premise: https://youtu.be/-4GrHGnFtg4
"That tree is taller than it was last time we were in Brooklyn."
My only complaint is that "The Yellow Wallpaper" is a short story, and I was unable to find any word of a novel called The Yellow Wallpaper in a quick Google search. If there is one, it is probably also about something other than choosing between yellow and green decor, though, so this post would still be perfectly inaccurate, as intended.
Hey, Waiting for Godot isn't a novel either.
From someone who hadn't read them… how're they supposed to know its not?
I believe I wrote one if not two papers on both Frankenstein and Heart Of Darkness before I actually read them. Maybe they know that and that's why they kept getting assigned. "You're gonna be bored one night at the laundromat and you'll READ it, asshole!"
With you there! I did Heart of Darkness in high school and have never read it in the decades since, either. Hedda Gabler was the other work we studied in high school that I never read then or since. In both cases, I think I must have picked up enough from the class discussions to write the tests. Fortunately, there was no paper assigned.
Hey, just listen to the lectures!
I got an F on my Heart of Darkness paper for AP English. An F.
Oh, no, I'm not bitter. I'll just be over here burning Conrad in effigy.
The horror! The horror!
I actually did read most of Frankenstein at a laundromat.
I did my entire French degree without ever reading any of the texts except Dangerous Liaisons.
"Why is that bell tolling?"
"It's for you, darling!"
– For Whom The Bell Tolls
"Where's Adam? We're only missing Adam."
Adam came in the room. They were now all there.
– All The King's Men
"Fourteen. Really, I quite wish I was fourteen again."
– The Age of Innocence
your All the King's Men summary is VERY Donald Antrim-esque and I love it.
"Don't think of it as a bleak house, think of it as a fixer-upper! A fresh coat of paint and it'll be good as new."
Sounds like they have Great Expectations…
*rimshot* AWESOME
"It's lovely," she said. "Such a good likeness. When was it painted?"
"About twenty years ago," said the artist, who was middle-aged.
Took me a LONG time to get this……
I still don't!
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man :)
Gracias! That's perfect.
"Well, I was possessed, but then my parents hired an exorcist, so now I'm not."
"So, what are you now then? Dispossessed?"
The Dispossessed
LOLOLOL
Oh, the joys of capitalism vs realized anarchy and religious physics.
The family put a great many things down in the living room, one on top of the other.
They were placed so finely, not a single one of them fell over.
-Rohinton Mistry, A Fine Balance
-After reading the Wikipedia entry on hantavirus, he decided that peaceful co-existence was impossible. He threw the humane trap in the trash. Then drove out to Ace Hardware and came back with a four-pack of spring traps, the kind with the yellow plastic trip pedal fashioned to look like a slice of cheese.
Of Mice and Men
-"Would you come out from behind those palm fronds, Jude? We can hardly see you."
"No."
Jude the Obscure
-"Sorry," said Brock. "Spaced out there for a second. How many Pokémon, did you say?"
Catch 22
I method-read Jude The Obscure, alone in my cold apartment over Thanksgiving break, as my birthday cake slowly hardened. I definitely enjoyed reading The Rainbow buzzing on pseudoephedrine more (everyone does that "rub the back of your head" thing, right?).
p.s. FECUND
Omg, your interpretation of Jude the Obscure is my FAVORITE by far.
HA! I think your Catch 22 is the best one so far!
"So I got her ladyship some coffee like she asked, then went to my room and binge-watched HOUSE OF CARDS."
-The Handmaid's Tale
"This Gatsby is much better than that other one."
"Who're they ringing that bell for?"
"Damned if I know, but we better find out!"
"Here you go, children, your father and I got you a doll's house for Christmas, isn't it splendid?"
– A Doll's House
It was bitter cold. The lion was used to the heat of the savannah, so Pennsylvania winter really wasn't her thing.
– The Lion in Winter
I want to read these, dammit.
The Toast is really tapping into a deep undercurrent of melancholy today. I feel soothed, but also a little sad. But I'm still laughing at the jokes, so that's good.
[Photo of some dude named, apparently, Dorian Gray]
– The Picture of Dorian Gray
"Well done! You caught all twenty-two balls! Here is your stuffed alligator prize!"
It was a lovely day at the fair.
-Catch 22
Nurse: "Welp it's time for your surgery, say goodbye to your arms."
Patient: "So long, arms. I'll miss you."
– A Farewell to Arms
"One last wave."
"So, Mr Darkness, the transplant surgery went perfectly and we're pretty sure your mother is going to be just fine."
"What's a good number of musketeers?"
Eight is too few, twelve is too many.
Coincidentally that other Bryan Adams song from Robin Hood was in my head this morning, so he's having quite a day here. In my head.
"Definitely have to have three."
"Are you sure? Wouldn't two musketeers be enough?"
"No no, absolutely require three."
"Oh, ok."
"Wow, we sure are high up!"
"Yeah, it really wuthers up here."
-Wuthering Heights
This appeared just as I posted mine!
"And then she lived happily ever after," said the handmaid, softly closing the book. She did not want to wake the princess, who had already fallen asleep. There would be time again for tales tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that, for the princess would only know happily ever afters, and the handmaid couldn't be more content.
-The Handmaid's Tale
*SOB*
This actually made me tear up…
"Honey, I got the mail. You have a letter here that is bright red for some reason."
"For Christ's sake, Andrew; you're such a philistine. Everyone knows that's scarlet, not plain red."
"I'm tired of the same old adjectives. Let's make up a new word to call these mountains! A new word that's just ours!"
-Wuthering Heights
She had never seen such a beautiful shade of red, least of all in an envelope! But the stationary inside was the very same.
-The Scarlet Letter
"That's it, Dorian. Smize!"
-The Picture of Dorian Gray
"'That girl? The one who was just here? Oh, she's gone. You can probably catch her if you hurry though!'"
-Gone Girl
"'Darling,' he said, 'I love you, but your vomiting and uncontrollable diarrhea are kind of harshing my vibe right now.'"
-Love in the Time of Cholera
"He had done it. He had defeated all the other fruit flies, and truly he was their lord and master now. He knew it would be a short reign – he only had a few hours before his life cycle ended – but he had tasted victory."
-Lord of the Flies
"'DAMN!,' he cried, fumbling with the tape dispenser. 'SCREW this tape! If only I had a stapler, or some other way to adhere the pages of these letters together!'"
-The Screwtape Letters
Thumbs up. I see your last one and raise you…
"Do we have any hats or anything that'll go over a lion costume?" Carlos asked. His first day in the costume department at the theater was off to a busy start.
"Check in that big blue tub in the hall closet," Keisha said without looking up from the hem she was pinning. "And while you're there, could you see if there's anything like a pointy hat or a pentangle necklace or something in there? I feel like Kim's costume needs a little more… flair ."
The show opened to rave reviews that night. The theater critic from the newspaper especially commended the wardrobe team for a job well done.
-The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
"Man, Christmas is going to be so great this year," Pip thought to himself as he wandered around the local church yard on Christmas Eve. After he'd had a quiet, uneventful walk, he went back home, chatted with his uncle Joe, and went to bed early, excited for the fun day that was sure to follow.
"He slaved day and night over his painting, wracking his brain over the perfect color for the centerpiece of the composition, the clockwork. After experimenting with chartreuse, vermilion, and ochre, he finally settled on the perfect color – orange."
"The hard part is catching one, cause they're so small and fast. But once you've got one, you can do pretty much anything you want. Snap its neck, hit it with a rock, whatever. Their defenses are really weak."
-To Kill A Mockingbird
It was 1984. Everyone partied like it was 1984! — 1984 ,
George Orwell
"DUDE, seriously, could you back off? And, y'know, shush."
– Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
"Wow, I sure can see all of the things in here. This lighting is great."
– Everything is Illuminated
best
He won the lottery! Everyone in town congratulated him on winning.
The Lottery, by Shirley Jackson
"Are you sure they can be domesticated?" he asked doubtfully.
"Of course!" she replied. "You can keep just about any small mammal as a pet, if you get it young enough. Just make sure you use treats as rewards for positive reinforcement. It'll be eating out of your hand and snuggling in your pocket in no time."
-The Taming of the Shrew
There was an old man, and an ocean.
– The Old Man and the Sea
… wait, that's pretty much the plot isn't it. See also: The Red Pony.
glad I read all the comments first, cause I was going to do this exact one.
Yes, except add in horribleness and despair. I much prefer "The old man loved sitting on his porch and looking at the sea. It was very peaceful. After the sun set, he went inside and had a lemonade."
She haunted open mics at the Chuckle Hut, the Punch Line, Tickletown, Shrimprov, the Comedy Annex, the Comedy Closet, Wiseacre's, Stitchkeeper's, Funny Honey's, Blue Streak, L.O.L, and the Humerus Club. But Lily's favorite venue was a little throwback joint in Hell's Kitchen, where the cocktails were cold and strong, the snack mix was free (if stale), and the wit was scathing, just scathing .
– The House of Mirth
"Do you think this is good enough?"
"Hmm maybe we should a little further. I want to be far away from that maddening crowd"
NOW ON TMZ: TECHNO ARTIST MOBY'S NUDE PICTURES
-Moby Dick
I'm not crying because of the happy, sleepy little jackal YOU'RE crying because of the happy, sleepy little jackal.
You are correct, I am.
"I finally caught 22 of them!"
"Great, now why don't you just hang out in the rye for a while."
"How was your trip to the zoo?"
"Oh, it was weird. All of the animals were made out of glass! Pretty cool lookin', though."
-The Glass Menagerie
"Your Highness, you really should go outside more. The sun is really nice today!"
"Perhaps tomorrow, Thomas, perhaps tomorrow."
-The Pale King
"Is that a cat up there? It's little paws must be burning off. Should I call the fire department? I'm gonna call the fire department."
-Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
They'd had a great day. The weather was crisp but comfortable, like it sometimes is in September. The Sox were number one in their division. They'd spent the afternoon at the ICA before wandering up to the North End for Regina's pizza and cannoli at Mike's. They capped off the evening with overpriced drinks at the Top of the Hub, giggling like tourists.
They had such a nice time they almost forgot the frozen nightmare that was February.
-The Bostonians
"Milord, would you like an extra bit of sugar with your dung?"
"Why yes, Percival, that will do."
Lord of the Flies
"Well, it's not quite dark yet. We could go for a romantic stroll?"
"That sounds lovely. Maybe we could stop for ice cream."
– The Remains of the Day
Alternately:
"Wow, business has been slow lately," said the young man as he unloaded the hearse."This is the first body we've had dropped off in the last 24 hours."
"Telecommuting has vastly improved my productivity," she told the noon teleconference group from corporate, stifling a giggle.
—Naked Lunch
"Are we there yet?"
–On the Road
"I'm really going to miss these opposable thumbs the most," he surmised.
-A Farewell To Arms.
"Damned stainless steel coffee tables always in the fucking way!"
-Bleeding Edge
"Isn't this just gravity?"
-The Unbearable Lightness Of Being
"I suppose Daylight Savings Time is rather pointless, but I do enjoy these long August evenings."
…
"I know, but it's time our boy was in bed. You'd better call him in, David"
(I have firmly avoided reading Faulkner for years and years and years. As I lie dying, I'll probably still console myself with the thought that at least I'll never read Faulkner.)
A group of barnyard animals, led by a wise spider, work together to save the life of a friendly pig destined for slaughter.
-Animal Farm
Cordelia: Nothing, my lord.
King Lear: Nothing!
Cordelia: Nothing.
King Lear: Nothing will come of nothing: speak again.
–Much Ado About Nothing
"It was so weird! It was like I was at my parents' house, only it wasn't really their house – I mean it was, but it looked all different. And I kept trying to find a place where I could go to the bathroom in private, but all the rooms had like big glass windows in the doors, and people kept walking by and looking in at me. When I finally woke up I was drenched in sweat and totally had to pee."
-A Midsummer Night's Dream
All their husbands were dead. It was really for the best.
–The Merry Wives of Windsor
I thought that was The Merry Widow.
And you have successfully turned Shakespeare into Billy Preston.
"Remember," said Philip to Mildred, "the safe word is 'carpet'."
"I know," said Mildred, giggling. "Now get these chains on! And stop looking like a guilty child: bondage between consenting adults is as human as any other kink."
"I've never felt anything so wonderful!" said Milly, softly stroking the wings of the dove perched on her Venetian window-sill. "Well, that is, other than fulfilling relationships where everyone loves me for who I am."
–The Wings of the Dove
All-Detective Story Edition:
He knew it would take more than one tailor to make him the best-dressed man in Britain.
Chimneys need a lot of sweeping- more than the layperson would suppose. This book gives you the arcane knowledge every responsible chimney-owner needs.
This is the story of the Sand family, and their wonderful career as singers on the music-hall stage.
"Didn't you know about the Judge's terrible hay fever? A bouquet is the last thing he wants!"
She hoped the other falcons wouldn't give her a hard time for being a foreigner.
He knew it would take more than one tailor to make him the best-dressed man in Britain.
As always, he was neat but not gaudy. And yet, he also knew that it pays to advertise.
Ooh, I like your style.
"I'm sorry, I don't really do anything larger than a hamster. Perhaps you might try Vishnu or Odin?"
– The God of Small Things
George beamed at Ann and Connie, Carla and Toby. He'd never seen so many smiley faces in one room.
The army marched all day. "How far along our march route are we?" asked a private. "About the middle," answered a lieutenant.
-Middlemarch
Oh lordy. The Things They Carried was chosen as my alma mater's first ever freshman summer reading book, and Tim O'Brien came and did a talk for all the freshmen, and then they had to go to breakout sessions. I was an RA in a freshman dorm at the time, so I participated as well. At one point, this student raised his hand and asked O'Brien about some particular event in the book, and O'Brien was like, "Well, I mean, these stories are semi-autobiographical, but that particular conversation did not actually happen." Then like four more bros raised their hands instantly, and the one who got the mic said something like, "WAIT, so some of this is just MADE UP???" Tim O'Brien, now looking totally bemused, said, "I mean, it says 'A Novel' on the cover, right under the title, so??" "SO NONE OF IT WAS TRUE????" And so on.
Poor Tim O'Brien. He tried to talk about the difference between truth and fact, and how the former may be found in fiction, and the whole concept just went right over all these dudes' heads. A couple of them were in my breakout session later, and they acted as though they had been PERSONALLY BETRAYED by THIS LIAR, TIM O'BRIEN IF THAT IS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. The whole program went basically as well as one might expect.
I cried every every time I read this book. My older brother did a tour in Vietnam, because if you could not come up with an excuse you were a GI then. They did not wish to be there and they were so young.
"Cecelia, Robbie's a sex maniac! Look at this note he asked me to deliver!"
"You horrid child, you shouldn't look at other people's notes. When you read D.H. Lawrence you'll understand, and I won't let you read it for another four years. Now, are you truly sorry, or shall I tell Robbie you fancy him?"
"No, Cecelia, I'm truly sorry."
"Excellent. Then you shall make sure no one goes into the library from four to five this afternoon. Do you promise?"
"Yes."
Briony kept her word, using the passage that led to the library as the rehearsal stage for her latest puppet drama. Cecelia and Robbie emerged at ten to five, looking content if slightly flushed. Cecelia even helped Briony carry the set pieces back to the nursery.
Then a great cry arose from outside.
"Mr. Marshall's been bit!"
The hermit remained in the cabin by the serene mountain lake for the rest of her days and lived to a remarkable old age.
–One Hundred Years of Solitude
A group of middle-aged men spent the day indulging in their harmless amateur interest in the workings of the railways.
— Trainspotting , Irvine Welsh.
The thrilling biography of a 2000s teen heartthrob/elf.
— Orlando , Virginia Woolf.
The town's delinquent teens spent their nights hanging out, drunk, at a local park, the focal point of which was a large rock. By day it was a popular picnic spot.
— Picnic At Hanging Rock , Joan Lindsay.
"Where did you get that stone, Harry?"
"I stole it from the philosopher/sorcerer, depending on where you live".
"You should probably give it back".
"Yeah…"
— Harry Potter and the Philosopher/Sorcerer's Stone , J.K. Rowling.
They walked through the quiet countryside until they came to a village so small it didn't even have its own church. –Hamlet
"Do you have anything besides oranges?"
"Oh yes! Strawberries, cantaloupe, bananas, anything you want, really."
"Fascinating. Captain, the fruiting bodies of this plant appear to be composed of aluminum oxide with faint traces of chromium."
"Nevermind that, Spock! I'm tangled in vines and I've been bitten by a snake. This jungle is out to kill me!"
"To Whom It May Concern:
I wish to update my account information. Please find below the new spelling of my name."
"Ugh. Can you please carry this load of dresses back over to the boutique and tell them I said I wanted crushed velour ? Thanks. Hey — wait, watch out for that banana peel — !"
"What a productive day," said Obadiah the Puritan. "This garden is growing nicely now that we buried all the fish in it. Thanks, Squanto!"
– Pilgrim's Progress
"Which is your favorite color, Mama?"
"Oh, definitely the color purple. Purple's my very favorite color in all the world."
"Mine too! It's so wonderful, our having the same favorite color."
"If the specimen lacks compound leaves, it belongs to the subgenus Hulthemia , and is either Rosa persica or Rosa berberifolia ."
– The Name of the Rose
"The wind sure has picked up this afternoon, hasn't it? You know, it's funny, I… oh crap , where's my hat?"
– Gone with the Wind
"Get off my lawn, ya rotten kids!"
– Old Yeller
She was a thief, and she was gettin' hitched.
– The Robber Bride
His name was Gatsby, and he was pretty awesome.
– The Great Gatsby
The farm was chilly, and the accommodation was somewhat bare of soft furnishings. In fact it wasn't at all comfortable.
-Cold Comfort Farm
Oliver danced all night at the retro club! Man he loved this 60's music. "Oliver! Twist!" his friends cried in admiration, whilst clapping along.
-Oliver Twist.
1) This would be even better as a quiz, where the book titles need to be mouse-selected to be seen.
2) Probably everyone here knows Kate Beaton's Edward-Gorey-covers-inspired stories, but just in case: http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=242 http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=247 http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=252
I somehow hadn't seen these and am now shaking with laughter, so thank you!
Her Gorey covers are some of my favorites of all her work, and that's saying something.
'What a fabulous city!' Marilyn exclaimed.
'So much to see and do,' Clark agreed.
'And everyone seems so excited to see us!' added Audrey.
'Excellent restaurants on this street. Let's eat,' Orson rumbled, striding toward the nearest crossing.
— The City and the Stars
The fourth little pig was homeless in no time.
— House of Leaves
"Wow, that interior designer took the Gothic theme too far," he thought to himself.
– The Bone Clocks
It was a perfect day. The sky was blue and cloudless, the sand golden and soft under their feet. They wandered along the shore, paddling in the waves, then paused to buy an ice-cream. How lucky they were to be alive.
– On The Beach
"Yes, this one will do just fine," she said, pointing at the child.
– A Suitable Boy
"YOUR MOTHER SUCKS C**** IN HELL!"
– Possession
"Have you met my nephew? He's a magician, too."
"They call what the bread is doing "rising." It's 'cause of the yeast. You know what also rises? The sun."
"He was quite sure that no one could see him. Indeed, they could not."
– Invisible Man
Lights up. The bodies of ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN are seen onstage. Blackout.
The adult females of the family were extremely short, perhaps as the result of a pygmy ancestor.
"I can hear the cry of one of those birds that invades other birds' nests," said Harry Potter, who was unsuccessfully wearing the cloak of invisibility in a place where he wasn't supposed to be.
"It's always about Katy isn't it?" grumbled Jan. "What Katy ate, what Katy wore, what Monkees' singer Katy met!"
" Katy, Katy, Katy!"
It was long and black, with white lines on it, and it curved all the way up the mountain.
-The Road
"Oh, no, with these new mobile uteri, we don't need to involve those uppity women at all! They truly will be children of men!"
"Who's that young man walking with Mr. Dombey?"
"I believe it's his son."
"Oh. How nice."
"I'll do it, by gum. Yes, I'll do it, but I need some instructions."
"Okay. Let's see… To Halve a Whale… nope … To Keep a Goat … nope … ah, here it is … To Kill a Mockingbird!"
The smell of gunfire hung in the air. Joe and Bob ran over, filled with dread. The inspected the motionless bird.
"Told you it wasn't a duck".
– To Kill a Mockingbird
"Would you like to go to brunch tomorrow?"she asked.
"I can't I have a dentist appointment," he said.
"Oh, which dentist do you go to?"
"The one in Samarra."
"Oh, yes!" she said, "I can see the difference now. They are all distant shades!" -50 Shades of Grey
“Those are the shortest women I have ever seen”, He said – Little Women
“A one-na fried ham sandwich! A Two-a fried ham sandwich! A three-a fried ham sandwich!” – The Count of Monte Cristo
“Peter, for goodness sake; stop banging on that pan!” –Peter Pan
“I love the first day of a snow, when it is all crisp and white” –Snow white
A young boy visits with his uncle, who lives in the country. –Uncle Tom’s Cabin