Mara Hoffman Jumpsuit, $298 Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear me-eee, buy me all of this stuff. To start with, how about this jumpsuit that isn’t even on sale? Hardly a thing on this list could be considered a bargain, but it’s MY birthday and I don’t play by the rules.

Maison Margiela Booties, $220.99 (were $735) “Were $735,” like that’s okay in the first place, lol.

Connor 2016 Zodiac Calendar and Easel, $81 (was a price that doesn’t matter because we’re not actually buying this but will try to make it out of supplies from the craft store. Speaking of…)

Hazel & Ruby Crafternoon Kits, $3-8 in-store (were $14.99 and up) For some reason these aren’t on clearance on the website, but trust that they are in the store. I bought three the other day for a grand total of $12 and made this:

Also, these paper flowers turned out pretty sick. (Also-also, I’m pretty sure it’s a violation of federal trade laws but Jo-Ann’s always has crazy coupons on their site and their app that can apply to even clearance items.)

Alexis Bittar Brush Set, $99 (were $175) Not normally a fan of Alexis’ drippy, globby-looking accessories but the aesthetic somehow works on brushes.

Tuleste Pom Pom Earrings, $100 (were $250) Problematic as they are — real fur, a hundred bucks, stupid — these earrings still deserve love. So does this bracelet.

Fishs Eddy Paint-by-Number Tray, $11.96 (were $19.95) There’s also a desert scene. And if you don’t want to be friends any more, pick this up for your sweetheart while you’re over there.

Gas Stone Look Fire Pit, $219.99 Does anyone have one of these/do you like it/what’s the best kind to get, Etc.

A Nanny, priceless.