Ancient Grains Archive

The Fabulist

A fabulist is a fabricator in the total sense of the word, a forger but also a constructor, someone who tells lies in the service of a grand project. The fabulist is always an aspirational figure, and the personal legend they create is the means by which they achieve their desired position, ...Read More

Schrödinger’s Box

“You know,” Alisha says, “you’re being a little too healthy about this.” Slouched in a coffee-shop armchair, she’s a belly with a head and limbs stuck on as afterthoughts. A kick ripples the stripes of her t-shirt, and her face locks into a grimace. I rattle an ice cube into my mouth and ...Read More

Sympathy for E.L. James

A few months ago, an erotic writing colleague mass-messaged me asking I wanted to participate in a project to let Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L. James know that she had supporters by adding her as a Facebook friend en masse. This was aimed at counteracting some of the vitriol that's been ...Read More

In The Eventuality: Royal Baby Watch

Soon, perhaps within a matter of hours, the Duchess of Cambridge will give birth to the newest heir to the British throne. News of Kate Middleton's pregnancy has captured the public’s attention ever since she was hospitalized with acute morning sickness back in December. The royal baby buzz has been building steadily ...Read More

Fandom Anthropology: Teen Wolf

1. A Portrait of the Author as a Young Fan I got my first computer when I was fourteen, the summer before my freshman year of high school. It was a Dell, and it was blue, and it weighed around as much as my little brother. I don’t remember how long it took ...Read More

Why I’m A Pro-Choice Doula

There’s no one way to describe what it’s like to be present when a baby is born. For me, it’s electric. It’s the most bold, most primal work of human existence, happening both all at once and in slow motion: shivery, sweaty, bloody, beautiful. It's the biggest joy and the greatest privilege ...Read More

What The Posters In Your First Apartment Say About You Now

Le Chat Noir: You routinely post incredibly popular Buzzfeed articles to Facebook. "Laughed so hard," you write as you share a post that has over 3 million pageviews and has already been shared by fourteen of your friends. You have no idea that some of your coworkers talk about this habit of ...Read More

Rejected Sitcom Concepts

Two guys team up to raise a wife together, to show the children living next-door that they are responsible and have matured since that embarrassing encounter with the kids on that day they moved in, eight years ago.

 A well-adjusted person has a job and occasional, satisfying relationships during his late twenties.
 A kind, ...Read More