Did you know that as of Wednesday evening there was not a single damn sled you could order with your Amazon Prime subscription that would actually arrive BEFORE the storm, even if you were willing to pay extra for "same-day shipping"?
Let's all stockpile these for hostess gifts. They cost less than a bottle of wine with disgusting bare feet printed on the label and will be at least as impressive.
Let us gently drift back to the year 2004. I was 18, I got my first pair of Chuck Taylors (bright red, low tops); I was obsessed with Pink Floyd; and a TV show called
The OC
was the hottest ticket on a Friday night in the dorm of the Anglican girls’ boarding school that I lived in.
Friends, I am not often wrong, but when I am, I do not try to run from my mistakes. I square up to them and make what is wrong right. This week, I believed I had discovered a video showing a bumblebee giving live birth. I showed it to you in good faith.
ZEUS
: look, I have produced a daughter from mine own head
this is Athena
HERA
: like fuck you did
ZEUS
: What? No, she truly just app –
HERA
: two can play this head-baby game, pal
ZEUS
: I didn't do this to offend you, it just –
HERA
: too late, I'm crowning
It wasn’t my mother's prejudice regarding her potential adopted offspring that struck me; it was this racism infecting my adoption origin story. She hadn’t waited years and years for me because there was some baby shortage in our small Midwestern town. She had waited to adopt because she wanted an "all white" infant girl.
POINT
: "Say to yourself in the early morning: I shall meet today ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men...I can neither be harmed by any of them, for no man will involve me in wrong, nor can I be angry with my kinsman or hate him; for we have come into the world to work together."
COUNTERPOINT
: Honestly, fuck you.
