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request denied Archive

We Regret To Announce That Your Request Of “Gotta Hear Both Sides” Has Been Denied

Previously: Your request to play devil’s advocate has been denied.

Dear Applicant,

Thank you for your recent inquiry about hearing both sides. According to our records, this marks the fourth submission in as many days as to whether or not we have heard both sides. We regret to inform you that we have not.

On March the 2nd, you interrupted a conversation by asking “In fairness, have you heard both sides?”

On April the 13th, you spoke over a work acquaintance, reminding her that “We can’t actually form an opinion about this until we’ve heard both sides.”

While in an ideal world perhaps we would listen to all sides, the volume of requests we receive on a daily basis makes this impossible.

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Permission To Play Devil’s Advocate Denied

Dear Applicant,

Thank you for submitting your recent inquiry. According to our records, on September 27th, you interrupted a conversation with your request: “Look, if I could just play devil’s advocate for a second here…”

It’s with very real regret that we must inform you that your petition to play devil’s advocate has been denied. Thank you for your interest in the devil’s advocate position; we realize that this is disappointing and would like to assure you that your candidacy was considered very carefully. As you know, we receive an overwhelming number of requests to play devil’s advocate every day, and while we would like to accommodate them all, we simply don’t have the resources to do so.

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