something something canada Archive
Logical Inconsistencies in Beloved (Mostly Canadian) Childhood TV Shows
Television
Aug 04, 2014
Erica Ruth Kelly's previous work for The Toast can be found here.
Some American Idol drinking games are so socially irresponsible they require that players imbibe whenever they hear the word "dream" on the show. You know, as in “This has been my dream since I was a kid,” usually confessed by
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Every Canadian Novel Ever
Books
Jul 22, 2014
Previously in this series: Every Irish Novel Ever. This post was brought to you by @askmullan.
1. Will the Cod Return, Or Must We Move to Toronto?
2. Only the Jews Know Montreal
3. The Next Three Chapters Are Set in the 1830s Bush For No Reason
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CRTC-Approved Canadian Pornography Scenarios
Advice
Jul 02, 2014
This post originally appeared on March 12, 2014.
In an attempt to encourage compliance with the CRTC's strict guidelines for Canadian content (known as CanCon), the government has provided a detailed list of recommended plotlines for Canadian pornographic films.
(The Toast's previous coverage of Canadian anthropological matters can be
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How to Tell If a Canadian is Mad At You
Advice, Ancient Grains
Jul 02, 2014
This post originally appeared on January 7th, 2014.
Previously in Canadian anthropological studies: Facts About Thanksgiving.
1. Guess. It's as good a strategy as any.
2. They are behaving towards you exactly as they always have, yet you somehow feel strangely guilty.
3. Something has changed in the wind.
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Blind Items of Rural Southern Ontario
Weird True Tales
May 30, 2014
100% genuine gossip, sourced by Our Woman in Hastings County. Information provided for entertainment purposes only, keep it to yourself. Previously.
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What popular fast food chain is deliberately withholding ketchup packets from customers placing take-out orders? A certain father and amateur distillery operator estimates he's requested ketchup on ...Read More
Canadian Flags: Margarine Logos, Lions, and Quasi-Maps
Perfidy and Wretched Villainy
May 26, 2014
Kirsten Morry last compared Conrad Black and Barbara Amiel to Disney villains.
Out of all the national flags that could be described as “two coloured stripes surrounding a white section with a plant in the middle,” Canada’s is my favourite (although Lebanon’s is lovely too). Though that sounds like a tepid endorsement, I
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Paul Gross: A Celebration
Heroes
Apr 29, 2014
Forrest Barnum last wrote for The Toast about Canadian political novels.
Figure 1: Yowzah
When I was growing up, I didn’t watch a lot of commercial TV; we were a PBS/Star Trek household. One hazily remembered day, ...Read More
The State of Abortion Access in New Brunswick
Politics
Apr 15, 2014
Last week, my province made national headlines when it was announced that the Morgentaler clinic, our one and only private abortion provider, will be closing its doors in July due to lack of funding.
I live in New Brunswick, a small province on Canada’s East Coast. We
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