Ancient Grains Archive
Scenes That Brought Me To Tears As A Child in Majora’s Mask, In Order
Ancient Grains, Video Games
Aug 30, 2013
Not protecting the cows from the alien attack at Romani Ranch and finding an addled and confused Romani wandering the grounds the next day
Talking to Anju on the evening of the third day without completing Kafei's mask subplot
Watching Mikau die on the beach
Those fucking pipes in the Great Bay Temple
Playing
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Advice From Two Disparate Persons: Negativity, Weddings, and Stretch Marks
Advice, Ancient Grains
Aug 30, 2013
Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. (We are STILL open to better names for it.)
I have a friend who, in the last few years, has become a very negative person. Or maybe she was always like that, but it seems
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Eat Me: The Bawdy Pot Roast
Ancient Grains, Food
Aug 30, 2013
Jessica Valenti’s “Eat Me” column appears every other Friday at 3pm. Previous installments can be found here.
My grandmother was not the cookie-baking kind. Don’t get me wrong, she was supremely loving: my mother was her youngest, the baby, and my sister and I held special places in the grandchild hierarchy.
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Man Enjoys Toast
Ancient Grains, Magic
Aug 30, 2013
Famous genius Ta-Nehisi Coates, August 30th, 2013, 8:45am EST:
"The Toast is so ratchet, as the kids would say. Wait, isn't that what the kids would say? Is that a compliment? My son told me to say that. How about "The Toast is so twerking?" "The Toast ...Read More
Texts From Fight Club
Ancient Grains, Books, Texts From
Aug 30, 2013
hey have you seen my work khakis?
I think I might have lost them or something
which is crazy because I had them on yesterday
have you seen them?
its only after we've lost everything
that we're free to do anything
ok yes definitely
you have to lose everything
everything includes pants
pants are a thing, so
I am super on
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RIP, Seamus Heaney
Ancient Grains, Poetry
Aug 30, 2013
One of the worst possible inevitable things has happened. We've lost a towering talent and one of the great moral centers of the twentieth century.
Because he was a poet loved by almost every human who loved poetry, watching people who may care very little about
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Speak Flippantly on the Internet of These General Groups of People at Your Peril
Advice, Ancient Grains
Aug 30, 2013
1. Pit bull owners.
2. Polyamorists.
3. Cyclists.
4. Grateful Dead fans.
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Scenes From Classic Mel Gibson Movies That Seemed Innocuous At The Time But Have Been Ruined For Me In Light of His Behavior Over the Last Decade
Ancient Grains, Movies
Aug 29, 2013
What scene was it? That scene at the end of Braveheart where the English guys are tearing Mel Gibson up into little Mel Gibson pieces for being so brave and not gay like the English king's gay son and his punk friends are hiding in the crowd but they're too scared to stand up
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