Ancient Grains Archive
Period Piece Showdown: Mr. Collins v. Mr. Collins
Ancient Grains, Movies
Nov 27, 2013
Oh, period dramas. There’s nothing like getting lost in a romantic narrative about a plucky heroine and her brooding throng of potential suitors to make you mentally gloss over the realities of personal hygiene in 19th century Europe. I’ve seen multiple adaptations of all my favorites, and I’m not terribly loyal to
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“I Can’t Go Home Tonight”: Supporting Survivors of Domestic Violence
Ancient Grains, Family
Nov 27, 2013
My mom endured emotional abuse at the hands of my alcoholic father for 13 years. She secured a restraining order after the only time he hit her, a scene I watched while clutching the cordless phone, my fear of him dwarfed by the fear of what might happen if I were to
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An Interview With a Man Who Doesn’t See Color, For Real
Ancient Grains, Interviews
Nov 27, 2013
I’m ten. I’m watching wrestling with my two cousins and grandaunt; my cousins are trading stories about the guesses people make about their race. One cousin is constantly mistaken for Mexican; the other, for mixed. They are much lighter than me. I pipe in. “The kids at school think I’m white.” My
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The Quotable Jane Austen For Evil People: Persuasion Edition
Ancient Grains, Books
Nov 27, 2013
Previous editions of the Quotable Jane Austen for Evil People can be found here. Most recently: Mansfield Park.
When your friend asks if you like her new haircut:
"We are not all born to be handsome."
When ickily scamming on some chick named [Something] Elliot at a garden show:
"You need not be afraid, Miss
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Link Roundup!
Ancient Grains, The Internet
Nov 27, 2013
No harm, no foul, guy. Your teen years aren't so great anyway. I'm sure three years at Rikers Island without ever been convicted or put on trial were up there with not getting a car for graduation.
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The ACLU is suing the CIA ...Read More
“Pancho and Lefty” Duets, Ranked
Ancient Grains, Music
Nov 26, 2013
I will go to my grave maintaining two things: that "Pancho and Lefty" is the saddest song ever sung in this wide and lonely world, and that Toby Keith is a congenitally underrated musician and person.
The best, the definitive version, against which all other versions are ranked: Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard.
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An Interview With the Mom of a Baby Model
Ancient Grains, Interviews
Nov 26, 2013
I’ve known Kate since high school, where we were friendly and I also silently worshipped her from afar.
Kate, now an attorney, is still lovely and funny and smart and she appears to have passed her good genes onto her daughter, whom she calls Poppy. Of course, many children are cute, beautiful, charming,
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Characters In My Fair Lady Who Are Not Henry Higgins I Would Rather Have Seen Eliza Doolittle End Up With
Ancient Grains, Movies, Relationships
Nov 26, 2013
One need not be a fan of Audrey Hepburn to consider it a moral outrage that My Fair Lady ends with a continuation of Henry Higgins' weirdly critical, sexless relationship with Eliza Doolittle (you can always pretend it's the Julie Andrews stage version, if that helps). No man who wears hats that unbecoming
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