Some guy comes to your office and removes the vowels from all the signs.
...Read MoreThe Town Of Whatever, USA One Year Later
We were up for whatever.
We were all up for whatever. That’s the one thing I keep coming back to. What were we up for? Whatever. Were we up for it? We were.
In the end, there is no one to blame. When you’re up for everything, sooner or later, everything will happen.
We were up, once. Are you up for whatever, they had asked us, and to the ones who said Yes they had said Then come.
What’s the first thing you teach children, about what happens to everything that goes up?
We were Whatever, USA. Let me tell you a story.
...Read MoreThe Dough: AB Chao’s New Job Is Being Herself
Welcome to THE DOUGH, an occasional series in which Manjula Martin talks with women in creative professions about money and work.
When I called AB Chao on the phone, she was in New Orleans painting the kitchen cabinets in her new apartment. The cabinets had been “a gross, rental off-white” and Chao was in the middle of a lengthy process of repainting them bright white, not being pleased with the results, then repainting them again. Chao is the kind of person who cares about which color white her cabinets are—she’s a self-employed decorator and interior stylist, though you may know her as a blogger who posts beautiful photographs of her beautiful home on her beautiful website.
Chao has been on the internet since about 1874; as a writer, she’s worked for herself, blogs, magazines, a television show, and at a desk job in communications. Since 2001, Chao’s faithful readers (a.k.a. Chao Nation) have received regular updates on her home (christened Camp Chao), her family (a guitar-playing husband and now-19-year-old daughter), and her headless selfies. In 2008, Chao’s love of photography and design led her to launch a side gig as an interior decorator. By 2012, she had quit her desk job at a telecom company in Monroe, Louisiana — where she grew up — and had relaunched her career as a full-fledged lifestyle blogger and life stylist for hire.
So, as of a few years ago, the business of being AB Chao was looking pretty darn good from the outside. Oh, the cabinets! Oh, the accent tables! Ooooh, that swinging porch bed! As a lifestyle blogger, Chao was genuine, chic, and above all achievable. She could be your cool friend; heck, she could be you, if you only could get your shit together and clear all that crap off your coffee table and develop a genuine Southern “y’all.” Over fourteen years of blogging and designing, Chao had welcomed the internet into her home, and so we felt like we knew her. Then, in 2013, she came out of the closet, telling her readers, “Y’all, I am real gay. For ladies.” She got divorced. She moved. And soon, her blog posts came less frequently. In 2014, she stopped blogging altogether. No farewell post, no “taking a break” — she just stopped. She didn’t, however, stop working. I caught up with her on the phone recently to talk about how she’s making a living now, how she manages her money and her business, and the difference between being a lifestyle blogger and being a real person.
What do you say when people ask, “So, what do you do?”
Wellll… it actually depends on the time of year. I have about 17 different jobs, so if I’m doing a lot of decorating I’ll say, “I’m a decorator,” or if I’m doing a lot of writing I’ll say “writer.”
...Read MoreCost Per Use: A Disturbing Calculation
Pilot G-Tec pen, $3.95, Officemax. CPU: $.19 per overwrought diary entry.
Garlic press, $10.00, Ikea. CPU: $2.50 per clove. (Lost part of it after one use.)
UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs T-shirt, $15.00, UC Santa Cruz Bookstore. CPU: $7.50 per wear. Funnier in theory.
No Run! tights, $18.00. CPU: $18 per wear. Got a run.
...Read MorePublishing While Black: A Scratch Roundtable
This conversation first appeared in Scratch magazine’s Q4 2014 issue. Read more Scratch about the business of being a writer here.
In the publishing industry, most of the gatekeepers come from a place of race and class privilege. How does this skewed power dynamic affect the careers of writers of color? Scratch invited our panelists to have a conversation about their experiences as people who walk through those “gates” every day. Novelist and essayist Kiese Laymon, journalist and essayist Rachel Kaadzi Ghansah, poet Harmony Holiday, and editor Chris Jackson (Spiegel & Grau) discuss inclusion, community, and how things are or are not different for writers of color in today’s media landscape. Scratch editor Manjula Martin moderates. This conversation was edited for clarity and length.
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Manjula Martin: It’s hard enough to write a book. But being published—and having a career—in an industry that’s overwhelmingly homogenous is an entirely different challenge. To start off, I’m going to put Chris on the spot a bit. You’re the only editor at this table. Can you give us a sense of what the conversation is like in big publishing houses in terms of expanding their lists to include more writers of color and their stories? What’s changing or not changing?
Christopher Jackson: If there has been a shift, it’s been a shift in the direction of there being less inclusiveness in terms of staffing among book publishers than in the past. Publishers Weekly just did their annual salary survey, and they included information about racial diversity for the first time. The sample is small—about 600 people—but the survey showed an industry that is 89 percent white, 3 percent Hispanic, 3 percent Asian, 3 percent mixed race, 1 percent black/African-American, and 1 percent other. So that’s pretty extreme. It’s even worse than I thought. Until I started walking around the hall and doing a head count, and I was like, yeah, that’s about right.
...Read MoreThe New Office Ice Breakers
Stephen Lurie’s previous work for The Toast can be found here.
The modern economy requires new twists on the classic meet-and-greet office games. Use these great ice breakers to help new hires contend with the realities and demands of the ‘10s work environment, streamline workflows, and identify HR challenges.
Trust Fall
Original versions of the “trust fall” had one blindfolded participant fall backward into the arms of a group of their peers. The game was designed to show that your co-workers would be there for you when you fall: that you can trust them.
Twist the ratio and the game more effectively reflects the modern workplace. Have six (6) blindfolded participants fall backwards into the open arms of one (1) coworker. Both roles quickly learn that everyone must rely on themselves–and that the safety net won’t catch them if they get fired.
Candy Bowl
It used to be commonplace to pass around sugary treats as a form of social bonding. In the Candy Bowl game, different personal information was assigned to different pieces of candy in the bowl: red M&M, for example, would be favorite movie or blue Skittle would be favorite concert. Participants chose candy from the bowl at random and then had to share the information associated with that candy.
Replace candy with variants of uncooked beans (no-calorie option.) Assign the following to each type: number of Twitter followers, Klout Score, Tinder matches, banking PIN number, Social Security number, and Gmail password. If participants share any of the last three, remove them from the activity and send them directly to HR for training. Privacy and identity theft are not to be taken lightly.
...Read MoreQuiz: Do You Like Your Job?
Do you like your job?
- It’s fine ...Read More
Quiz: What Color Is Your Parachute?
1. You’re on a desert island. You look down at the parachute next to you. What color is it?
a) Bluish
b) Reddish
c) Greenish
d) None of the above
2. For years, you scoffed that skydiving was a generic way to have an adventure — as uninspired as bungee jumping or getting a tattoo during spring break in Daytona Beach. You insisted that people should make their own adventures, not just plunk down a few hundred bucks to spend a day in a Mountain Dew commercial. Yet you couldn’t think of what such an adventure would be. Every idea — road trips, ascents to peaks, backpacking through areas of higher and lower altitudes, journeys by sailboat, walking for weeks or months in a place that people don’t normally walk in, drugs, early/single parenthood — came from somewhere else. Not an original in the bunch. But you weren’t too worried about the adventure stuff. You had a life! Years went by. You laughed, you loved, you went on dates that made for good anecdotes, you did things that were really hard, you developed skills.
Little did you know that during that time, a tectonic shift was occurring in your thinking. And when you woke up on the morning of your 31st birthday, you realized you had been wrong about the skydiving and the bungee jumping and all the other unoriginal adventures. After all, what is life if not a pre-packaged adventure? Plus you wanted to go skydiving, OK? You just did. You always had. You’d wasted years keeping yourself and skydiving away from each other. It was time to let them meet.
So now you’re in the plane, and it’s really loud, whoa, and now you’re jumping, and it’s nuts! You’re falling! You aren’t really breathing! Space is the place! You pull the cord, and your parachute opens. What color is it?
a) Azure
b) Sunset
c) Mantis
d) B-vitamin
...Read More


















