Ancient Grains Archive

Hoarding Isn’t Fashionable or Glamorous

Sometimes when I see media covering a topic that’s familiar to me, I rejoice. It feels like a confirmation and validation—not that I need media to validate my existence, but especially when it’s about a topic I feel shame around, it can be comforting to find that others are dealing with the ...Read More

Force-Ranking the Mitford Sisters

The Mitfords According to Nicole 1. Jessica: "You may not be able to change the world, but at least you can embarrass the guilty." 2. Nancy: “If I had a girl I should say to her, 'Marry for love if you can, it won't last, but it is a very interesting experience and makes ...Read More

Alternatives to the Paleo Diet

The unfortunate reality of the 24-hour news/hypochondria cycle is that fad diets have been crowded out by celebrity endorsements and single-use culinary gadgets. It used to be that every tabloid had its own clinically-tested 100% effective diet. You couldn’t fan yourself with your broad-brimmed hat without smacking a rail-thin Saturday Evening Post ...Read More

Male Comedians’ Relative Attractiveness in Drag, Ranked

Every woman fondly remembers the moment she first realized that, like it or not, "the way Kids in the Hall cast members look in drag" was going to be a deep and integral component of her sexual identity. For me it was the summer I turned eleven, and also every day since then, ...Read More

Toddler Birthday Party Ideas

Fairies? So last century. Pirates and Princesses? Arrrh-iginal. If you're looking for something truly unique for your child's next birthday party, consider our one-of-a-kind shindigs that do typical birthday parties one better, by proving just how not typical your child really is. Here at You Bet We Do! Parties, we specialize in ...Read More

My Sexual Education in the 1950s

Once upon a time long ago in my small Ontario town, menstrual pads were called sanitary napkins, and they came in boxes wrapped in plain brown paper lest any man see them and drop dead from embarrassment. These pads were about an inch thick—bulky, awkward things that were held in place with ...Read More

How To Spot A Witch

Any woman who has made more money than her father for a two-month period or longer, is a witch. Any woman who has seen at least one full season of Gilmore Girls, is a witch. Any woman who owns a wristwatch or is taller than a man, is a witch. Any woman who was born ...Read More

Emily Books Book Club: King Kong Theory

Earlier this month, we announced the formation of the Emily Books Book Club (man, am I ever good at naming things! call me, Childlike Empress!) in conjunction with, right, Emily Books. As promised, I read the book (King Kong ...Read More