MONK #2: i think youre ready to move on to something a little trickier this time
reading and writing
MONK #1: oh wow
MONK #2: the really important thing to remember about writing is that you dont use any words
ever
just blank pages in careful order
MONK #1: oh wow i had no idea
MONK #2: i know
thats what i’m here for haha
MONK #2: same goes for reading
MONK #1: right right
MONK #2: so be sure not to put any words inside the edges
just more edges
Previously in this series: Two Monks invent dinner parties.
MONK #1: do birds have meetings
MONK #2: absolutely
they have a Meeting Hat and everything
MONK #1: what do they have meetings about
MONK #2: mostly who gets to wear the meeting hat
MONK #1: do human women sleep in beds or–
MONK #2: no that’s dogs you’re thinking of
MONK #1: right right
Previously in this series: Two monks invent Christian denominations.
MONK #1: lets throw a dinner party
big feast
invite everybody over
MONK #2: oh yes for sure lets
MONK #1: whats good to eat, what do people like for dinner
MONK #2: one single peacock
MONK #1: will that be enough do you think
MONK #2: well that’s what dinner is
a single peacock
so it better be
MONK #1: ok
MONK #2: people will know what to expect so theyll be prepared anyway
MONK #1: ok
MONK #1: should we have anything else ready though
just in case
MONK #2: look im telling you
dinner is a single bird
feathers on
all its feathers still on
on a big plate
thats literally what dinner is
MONK #1: ok
MONK #1: sorry i didnt mean to be difficult
MONK #2: dont feel bad about it
i mean it was a little embarrassing but dont worry about it
MONK #1: ok
thanks
Holiness Movement
MONK #1: all right
you read the Bible
right?
MONK #2: right
MONK #1: whole thing?
MONK #2: A to done
MONK #1: okay whatd you get out of it
MONK #2: we should touch snakes
MONK #1: really?
yeah
touch em up a bunch
MONK #1: anything else
MONK #2: mm
mostly just the snakes
Previously in this series: Two Monks Invent the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood.
Ah, gentlemen. I see we’re all here and on fire in time for the meeting. Shall we begin?
MONK #1: hey what does it look like when two people who love one another hug
MONK #2: oh god just awful, it looks awful
like one of ’em is a knife just splitting into the other one’s skin
MONK #1: dang
MONK #2: or theres another way
MONK #1: of hugging?
MONK #2: yeah
only your chins and one knee touch
and you make your face miserable
and lean away as hard as you can
so those are the two main basic kinds of hugging that there are
MONK #1: like this?
MONK #2: yeah exactly
MONK #1: oh that reminds me
which way do necks bend
on humans
MONK #2: any way
MONK #1: yeah?
MONK #2: yeah there’s like literally no direction a neck cant bend in
MONK #1: really
MONK #2: yeah
try it sometime
This post brought to you by Michael, a seven-eyed dog from Brooklyn. Previously in this series: Two monks invent medieval art.
It doesn’t really work for monks to appear in this installment of the series, seeing as how the influence of the Catholic Church on popular art movements had really waned by 1848, but I’ve already committed to the general conceit, so.
MONK #1: ok wow
what should we draw what should we drawww
everybody’s doing landscapes and rich ladies in front of old buildings so maybe we should —
MONK #2: bitches
MONK #1: what
MONK #2: we gotta paint bitches
just stone cold bitches man
MONK #1: i dont understand
MONK #2: bitches are it
bitches are the future
people want one thing from art
and that’s to see unsmiling bitches brushing their hair
MONK #1: wow
ok
MONK #2: like this
MONK #1: oh wow okay yeah i see what you mean
MONK #2: or this
Previously in this series: Two monks invent cartography.
MONK #1: oh hey what did St. Mark look li–
MONK #2: tornado with a face on it
MONK #1: what happens to your body when you hide behind a curtain
what’s the best way to draw that, I can’t get it quite right
MONK #2: it disappears entirely
MONK #1: really!
MONK #2: just…mmp. Vanishes.
you pretty much just turn into a floating head
MONK #1: oh and this probably goes without saying, but most people’s feet are–
MONK #2: criss-crossed in barbed wire, yeah, exactly
MONK #1: ahhhh
MONK #2: whats up
MONK #1: nothing
it’s just like
i cannot remember how big the letter C is today for some reason
MONK #2: what like
on the page?
MONK #1: yeah
MONK #2: big enough to fit Jesus and like nine of his friends in it
MONK #1: right right
sorry
MONK #2: no don’t feel bad about it
Previously: Two monks invent Renaissance art.
MONK #1: what does Hell look like?
MONK #2: big upside-down beehive
MONK #1: What is the population of the world
roughly
like how many people do you think live in it
MONK #2: three at the absolute most
but they’re all enormous
MONK #2: what are you drawing right now
Asia?
MONK #1: yeah
MONK #2: you should put in a warning about lions
because there might be lions there
in Asia
and people need to know
MONK #1: are there lions in Asia?
MONK #2: yeah
probably
I mean if I were a lion
that’s the first place I’d go
MONK #1: okay I’ll put something in there
MONK #2: draw him bigger
MONK #1: what?
MONK #2: Draw the lion bigger
just in case the lions there are also giants
MONK #1: how do you know the lions there are giants?
MONK #2: I mean
how do you know the lions there aren’t giants
MONK #1: good point
