Ancient Grains Archive

Your Ability to Can Even: A Defense of Internet Linguistics

The first time I consciously realized that there was something unique about how we speak on the Internet was when a friend’s post popped up on my newsfeed. It was a link to something awesome and it was captioned: “I have lost all ability to can.” I’ll be honest. I don’t remember what ...Read More

Texts From Cormac McCarthy

just got here saving you a table hey you on your way? hey are you coming? You forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget look it's fine if you can't make it it's just people are starting to head home but if you're on your way Nobody wants to be here and nobody wants to leave oh ...Read More

Love in Colour: Multicultural and Interracial Romance Novels

Previously: bad sex in romance novels. In romance novels, it seems easier for a person of colour to get a date with a were-lion than with a non-shifting human being. I guess if a reader is down with leonine loving, then stories featuring sex with Asian people aren’t so scary. Here’s the crux: ...Read More

Restaurant Reviews From Jimmy Stewart’s Character At the End of It’s A Wonderful Life

Shalom Japan, 310 S. 4th St. [Grabs you by the lapels] "Listen, mister, you've gotta -- well, well sit down, here, now, make yourself comfortable, I've got to tell you something -- listen, there's this little place in New York City, name of Shalom Japan -- can you beat that? Shalom Japan -- and it's just ...Read More

Official Toast Stances: Volume Three

If you do not like the things we approve of, we suggest you revisit your stance. You are still allowed to like and/or engage in the things we dis-approve of, you are just wrong. Previous installments can be found here. – Eds. The Toast Approves of the Following Things: 1. Key & Peele 2. Thanksgiving starches, ...Read More

The False Housewives of Atlanta

Coming to Bravo this fall: The False Housewives of Atlanta. Watch these shapeshifters ensorcell men and captivate their haters after trapping the true housewives under sea and under stone. The series delves into the lives of six monstrous witches impersonating women from Atlanta’s social elite. Juggling families, careers, magickal imprisonment, and jam-packed social ...Read More

The Cross-Dressing Reenactors of Gettysburg

Previously: Part I.

On August 3rd, 1862, a nineteen-year-old Irish immigrant named Jennie Hodgers joined the ranks of the 95th Illinois Infantry, successfully passing for a man during a physical examination in which she only had to show her hands and feet. For the next three years, she served as Pvt. ...Read More

Theme Songs That Read Alternately Cheerful and Terrifying

Come and knock on our door We've been waiting for you ...Read More